Q & A & more!

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my
baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes
college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to
determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so
moody that sometimes she's
borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not
pain I'll feel during labour,
but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might
be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the
delivery room while my wife
is
in labour?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means
anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while
recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very
quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my
wife begin to feel and act
normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

"ESTROGEN ISSUES"
10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

1. Everyone around you has an attitude
problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your
cheese omelette.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of
your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to
everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial
up every bumper sticker that
says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-".
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation
to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here
from "outer space".
8 You can't believe they don't make a tampon
bigger than Super Plus.
9 You're sure that everyone is scheming to
drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you
bought it yesterday..

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats'(or Dog's) facial _expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in
different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat
your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream,
off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale
ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women
understand:

1. OTHER WOMEN