The dog's diary:

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My

The cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity. My captors continued to
taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on
fresh meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that
keeps me going is the hope
of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from
clawing the furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my
attempt to kill my
captors by weaving around their feet while they
were walking almost
succeeded - must try this at the top of the
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite
chair - must try
this on their bed, (or car.....)

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless
body in an attempt
to make them aware of what I am capable of, and
to try to strike fear
in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended
about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not... working according
to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their
accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event. However, I could
hear the noise and smell
the food. More important, I overheard that my
confinement was due to my
powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what
this is and how to use
it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies
and maybe snitches. The
dog is routinely released and seems more than
happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other
hand, has got to be an
informant and speaks with them regularly. I am
certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current placement in the
metal room, his safety
is assured.
But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.


No comments: