Top 10 Dog Peeves About Humans

"1. Blaming your farts on me not funny
-not funny at all!

2. Yelling at me for barking.I'M A FRIGGIN DOG!

3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check
stuff out.
Exactly who's walk is this anyway?

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my
nose stop it!

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now
you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

6. The sleight of hand. Fake fetch throw. You
fooled a dog!
Whooo Hoooo-what a proud moment for the top of the
food chain.

7. Taking me to the vet for the "big snip", then
acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your
guests. Sorry, but I haven't mastered the handshake yet.

9. Dog sweaters. Hello?
Haven"t you noticed the FUR?

10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself.
Look, we both know the truth, you"re just jealous."