Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished!!!
"You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone." - Al Capone (1899-1947)
"The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams
"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." - Mark Twain
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Save time... see it my way.
It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.
Oh Lord give me patience... NOW!
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Life - it's nothing like the Brochure!
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Today's subliminal thought is:
Some people have a way with words, while others... erm... thingy.
If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
Due to financial constraints, the light at the end of the tunnel has been extinguished.
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
Bacon & eggs - Hens are involved but pigs are committed.
Any twelve people who can't get themselves out of jury duty are not my peers.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
Dyslexic man sells soul to Santa... Film at 11.
People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either of them being made.
Spotted on the back of a T-shirt worn by LAPD Bomb Squad: If you see me running, try to keep up.
Do you know that if all the smokers were laid end to end around the world, three quarters of them would drown?
Hickory, Dickory, Dock. Three mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one. The other two escaped with minor injuries.
"AOL for Dummies" is kind of redundant, don't you think?
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
"I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!" - Homer Simpson
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce today would cost $100, get a million miles to the gallon, and explode once every few weeks, killing everyone inside.
Sleep: A completely inadequate substitute for caffeine.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
"If the Start Windows Restart when Windows starts check box is checked Windows Restart will start automatically every time Windows is started." - Actual excerpt from a windows program help file!
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
The three most dangerous things are a programmer with a soldering iron, a manager who codes, and a user who gets ideas.
To know recursion, you must first know recursion.
"A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street." - Doug Linder
Mountain Dew and doughnuts... because breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
"Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea - massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind - boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it." - Gene Spafford,1992
A much wittier reply came to mind immediately after I clicked the 'Send' button.
Don't make me use uppercase...
There is an old saying that if a million monkeys typed on a million keyboards for a million years, eventually all the works of Shakespeare would be produced. Now, thanks to Usenet, we know this is not true.
The truth is out there? Does anyone know the URL?
In The Beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
Jesus is coming - Look Busy!
The trouble with ignorance is that it picks up confidence as it goes along.
“The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.” - George Carlin
The trouble with political jokes is they get elected.
If the enemy is in range, so are you.
Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.
Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who don't.
If you find yourself in a fair fight you didn't plan your mission properly!
Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.
Sometimes we turn to God when our foundations are shaking, only to find out it is God who is shaking them.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says, What is this, some kind of joke?
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
Can priests turn other food into God, or only those little cookies?
A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible.
A dyslexic, agnostic insomniac - one who lies awake at night wondering if there really is a dog...
I don't mind Jesus, it's his fan club I can't stand.
In the beginning, there was nothing. And God said, 'Let there be Light.' And there was still nothing, but you could see a bit better.
I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better.
“Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.” - Oscar Wilde
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
“Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.” - Henry Kissinger
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished...
I married Miss Right, I just didn't know her first name was Always!
In a movie, no matter what window you look out in Paris, the Eiffel Tower is always right there.
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.
Luge: The sport of lying down and trying not to die.
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
Never try to leap a chasm in two jumps.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment.
Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
Conventional wisdom says to know your limits. To know your limits you need to find them first. Finding your limits generally involves getting in over your head and hoping you live long enough to benefit from the experience. That's the fun part.
Never anger a dragon, for you are crunchy and you go well with Brie.
Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve immortality by not dying.” - Woody Allen
“I only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.” - Scott Adams
“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” - Mark Twain
If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Is there another word for synonym?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
How do 'Do Not Walk On Grass' signs get there?
If you mix milk of magnesia with vodka and orange juice, do you get a Phillip's screw driver?
Why is it that when a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95/minute?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
How come the bullets that work are fired, and the ones that don't work are not?
“When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?” - George Carlin
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
While he is not dumber than an ox, he's not appreciably smarter either.
Everyone is entitled to be stupid but you're abusing the privilege.
You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.
I'd like to see things your way, but I'm not sure if I can stick my head that far up my ass.
It's hard to believe you out-swam a million other sperm.
Let's have a suicide pact. You go first.
He's about as subtle as a chainsaw, but lacking the social grace.
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket, I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
A fool and his money are soon partying.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.
Half the people you know are below average.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
All those who believe in psycho kinesis raise my hand.
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case...coincidence?
Dancing is a perpendicular statement of a horizontal desire.
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
"If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things that are missing. If you don't have love in your life, no matter what else there is, it's not enough." - Ann Landers
If silence be good for the wise, how much better for fools.
Consulting: If you’re not a part of the solution, there’s good money to be made in prolonging the problem.
Cluelessness: There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.
Incompetence: When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there’s no end to what you can’t do.
Dysfunction: The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you.
Burnout: Attitudes are contagious. Mine might kill you.
Mistakes: It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
Overconfidence: Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you can survive the odds beating you.
Regret: It hurts to admit when you’ve made mistakes, but when they’re big enough, the pain only lasts a second.
Despair: It’s always darkest just before it goes pitch black.
Pessimism: Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand.
Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should be changed regularly and for the same reason.
An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.
You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
Lord, save me from your followers.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill them.
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened." - Cora Harvey Armstrong
"The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy." - Helen Hayes (at 73)
"Old age ain't no place for sissies." - Bette Davis
"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty." - Douglas Adams
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." - Frank Herbert, Dune - Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear
War never decided who was right, only who was left.
The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.
"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his." - General Patton
"I love vegetarians. That's all I eat." - Ted Nugent
Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get me.
Our FREEDOM rests on 4 boxes: Soap, Ballot, Jury, and Cartridge
"An unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." - Col. Jeff Cooper
Rule #1: If there are guns in your house, one had better be yours.
Some days it's just not worth chewing through the restraints...
A child of five could understand this! Fetch me a child of five!
According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.
After all is said and done, more is said than done.
Chaos, panic, pandemonium - my work here is done.
Dear IRS, Please cancel my subscription.
If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
Never use the words 'Evil Diabolical Plan' on your resume.
The Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) has determined that the maximum safe load capacity on my butt is two persons at a time, unless I install handrails or safety straps. Since you have arrived sixth in line to RIDE MY ASS today, please take a number and WAIT YOUR TURN!
There ought to be a better way to start the day than by getting up in the morning.
There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
Usually I try to take it one day at a time, but lately several have attacked me at once...
"A new study shows that licking the sweat off a frog can cure depression. The down side is, the minute you stop licking, the frog gets depressed again." - Jay Leno
"Nearly everything you read signed "from God" is just somebody putting their words in my mouth." - God
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
"Oh bother!" said Pooh, as he chambered another round.
"Procrastination is not the problem... it's the solution." - Ellen DeGeneres
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
We don't shoot to kill....we shoot to live!
"You may find me one day dead in a ditch somewhere. But by God, you'll find me in a pile of brass." - Trooper. M. Padgett
There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
Oops! My brain just hit a bad sector.
Tell me and I forget. Show me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.
Computers come in two styles: prototype and obsolete!
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time Windows crashed......Oh wait, he does.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." - Napoleon Bonaparte
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
6/17/2005
Email Signatures
a Personal Favourite
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."
- Frank Herbert, Dune - Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear
Today's subliminal thought is:
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
A dyslexic, agnostic insomniac - one who lies awake at night wondering if there really is a dog...
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” - Mark Twain
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Bice Says He's Glad He Lost 'Idol' Final
Three weeks after being defeated by Carrie Underwood in the finals of "American Idol," Bo Bice says he's happy he lost.
"People ask me, 'What were you thinking while you stood there waiting for them to announce the winner?'" Bice says in the issue of Rolling Stone magazine on newsstands Friday.
The answer?
"Please, God, don't let me win this thing."
Bice claims he never wanted the Idol crown to tarnish his Southern rock rep.
"The label 'American Idol' was not for me. I'm not a pop person. It would have been harder to play my kind of music if I had won," says the 29-year-old Alabama native.
In the May 25 finale, the long-haired rocker failed to bring in as many votes as Underwood, who won over audiences with her country charm. But runners-up on the Fox show have done well in the past most notably Clay Aiken.
This fall, Bice will record an album with producer Clive Davis, due out by year's end. He hopes to persuade Davis to include a few of his own tunes.
"I would rather put out an album of my own songs, and if it flops, it flops."
After all, Bice feels like he's playing with house money at this point.
"I just came in (to 'American Idol') being myself," he says. "And for some crazy reason, that's what people were wanting. Which is why I am truly the guy who's the most freaked out about everything that's happened."
___
A Joke..for LUCIA-where ever she is ???
In The Garden Of Eden
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to
God. "Lord,I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you created me and provided this
beautiful gardenand all of these wonderful animals
and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of
apples." "Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution.
I shall create a man for you."
"What's a man, Lord?"
"This man will be a flawed creature, with
many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat, and be vain-
glorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time.
But, he'll be bigger, faster,
and will like to hunt and kill things.
He will look silly when he's aroused, but since
you've been complaining, I'll create him in such a way that
he will satisfy your physical needs.
He will revel in childish things like
fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be
too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds great." says Eve, with an ironically
raised eyebrow,"What's the catch, Lord?"
"Well... you can have him on one condition."
"What's that, Lord?"
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and
self-admiring...
So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first.,BR>
Just remember, it's our little secret you know, woman to woman."
Start the morning off right:)
Starting the day off right, jamming out to" Back in Black " by AC-DC , the kids are rocking out too, cutest damned thing to see a baby dancing and smiling to AC-DC> little rock star, and the Four year old jamming on air guitar....
BACK IN BLACK
(1980)
(Young, Young, Johnson)
Back in black, I hit the sack
I been too long I'm glad to be back
Yes, I'm let loose from the noose
That's kept me hangin' about
I keep lookin' at the sky 'cause it's gettin' me high
Forget the hearse. 'cause I'll never die
I got nine lives cat's eyes
A busin' every one of them and running wild
CHORUS:
Cause I'm back, yes I'm back well, I'm back
Yes, I'm back well, I'm back, back
Well, back in black yes, I'm back in black
Back in the back of a cadilac
Number one with a bullet, I'm a power pack
Yes, I give a bang with the gang
They gotta catch me if they want me to hang
Coz I'm back on the track and I'm beatin' the flak
Nobody' gonna get me on another rap
Don't look at me now, I'm just makin' my bed
Don't try to push your luck, just get out of my way
CHORUS:
Cause I'm back, yes I'm back,well, I'm back
Yes, I'm back well, I'm back, back
Well I'm back in black, yes I'm back in black
Well I'm back, yes I'm back
Well I'm back, yes I'm back
Well, I'm back, back
Well I'm back in black, yes I'm back in black
Well I'm back, back in black
Yes I'm back in black
Out of the sack!
6/16/2005
What is Love?
What does Love mean?
> A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8
> year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were
> broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.
> See what you think:
>
> "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over
> and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her
> all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
> Rebecca- age 8
>
> When someone loves you, the way they say your name is
> different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
> Billy - age 4
>
> "Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on
> shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
> Karl - age 5
>
> "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of
> your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
> Chrissy -age 6
>
> "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
> Terri - age 4
>
> "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she
> takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is
> OK."
> Danny - age 7
>
> "Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired
> of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My
> Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
> Emily - age 8
>
> "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop
> opening presents and listen."
> Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
>
> "If you want to learn to love better, you should start with
> a friend who you hate,"
> Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
>
> "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he
> wears it everyday."
> Noelle - age 7
>
> "Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are
> still friends even after they know each other so well."
> Tommy - age 6
>
> "During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared.
> I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and
> smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared
> anymore."
> Cindy - age 8
>
> "My mommy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone
> else kissing me to sleep at night."
> Clare - age 6
>
> "Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
> Elaine-age 5
>
> "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still
> says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
> Chris - age 7
>
> "Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left
> him alone all day."
> Mary Ann - age 4
>
> "I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her
> old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
> Lauren - age 4
>
> "When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and
> little stars come out of you." (what an imagination)
> Karen - age 7
>
> "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't
> think it's gross."
> Mark - age 6
>
> "You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it.
> But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
> Jessica - age 8
>
> And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once
> talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the
> contest was to find the most caring child.
>
> The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor
> was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon
> seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old
> gentleman's yard,
> climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked
> what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I
> just helped him cry"
Your Weird Site of the Day
Vampires , Zombies , Undead , Dogs,
The Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency.....
Ok, Alrighty then......:rolling eyes....
REAL GREEK GYRO
1 POUND FINE GROUND HAMBURGER HIGH FAT
CONTENT BEST FOR THIS
1 POUND FINE GROUND LAMB
1 1/4 TABLESPOON GARLIC POWDER
1 1/3 TEASPOON OREGANO
1 1/2 TEASPOON SALT
1 TABLESPOON CHOPPED GARLIC
1 TEASPOON MAJORAM
1.2 TEASPOON BLACK PEPPER
MIX ALL , THEN BLEND IN FOOD PROCESSOR FOR 1
MINUTE (ADD A TAD OF WATER IF NEEDED TO MIX BETTER)
SHAPE INTO AN OVAL CHAPE AND REFRIDGERATE
OVERNIGHT
NEXT DAY, WITH OVEN AT 350 DEGREES, BAKE FOR 50
T0 60 MINUTES OR UNTIL IT IS RATHER DRY.
LET SET TO COOL.
SLICE WHEN WARM SLICE THINLY
SLICE SOME TOMATOES, ONIONS TO ADD ON TOP OF
MEAT
ALSO LETTUCE.
CUCUMBER
SAUCE
1/2 CUCUMBER, SEEDED AND CHOPPED
1 TEASPOON DRIED DILL WEED
1 CUP LOW FAT PLAIN YOGURT
1/.2 TEASPOON OF SUGAR
1 HEAPING TABLESPOON OF CHOPPED GARLIC
1/3 TEASPOON SALT
DRIZZLE OVER ALL
ENJOY
The real Winnie the Pooh
Here's your totally useless fact of the day:
Winnie, from Winnie the Pooh, was named after a
bear at the London Zoo.
The animal had been born in Canada but brought to
London in 1914 as the
mascot of a Canadian regiment.
Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb
Just Listening to this this morning ...
while I get to work, on my vast and secret plans to take over and crush my enemies under my spiky heeled black patent boots...
OOOppps.. you didn't see /hear that...
:looking around at nothing whistling a stupid tune...
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?
Come on, now.
I hear you're feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain,
Get you on your feet again.
Relax.
I need some information first.
Just the basic facts,
Can you show me where it hurts?
There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're sayin'.
When I was a child I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I got that feeling once again.
I can't explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.
Ok.
Just a little pinprick.
There'll be no more ...Aaaaaahhhhh!
But you may feel a little sick.
Can you stand up?
I do believe it's working. Good.
That'll keep you going for the show.
Come on it's time to go.
There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're sayin'.
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone.
I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child is grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.
6/15/2005
Funny one-liners...for email sigs
One-Line Signatures captured from the Internet
==============================================
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
"More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.
What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
All generalizations are false.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
Larry, Billy Bob, and the Bear!
Bear Guzzles Campers' Beer, Eats Food
DUNBAR, W.Va. - Larry Gaynor and his brother had to cut their latest fishing trip short after a black bear ate their food and guzzled their beer. Gaynor, 67, and his brother, Billy Bob Gaynor, 53, were camping at Summit Lake near Richwood on Friday when the bear wandered into their campsite at about 9 p.m.
Hearing a noise, they looked outside their tent and saw the bear with its mouth clamped on their cooler. Larry Gaynor said the bear dragged the cooler 30 yards into the woods and flung it against a tree, scattering a case of Coors Light.
"He only drank three cans," Larry he said. "He would've drank all of them if it would've been Budweiser."
Billy Bob Gaynor said the bear ate all of their food so they returned to Dunbar the next day.
"Either relocate them or let me eat them," he said.
___
Humor for you...
This is not about me or my husband, it is a joke I found on line.....
How My Husband Broke His Arms....
Last year, when the power mower was broken and
wouldn't run, I kept
hinting to my husband that he ought to get it
fixed, but somehow the
message never sank in. Finally I thought of a
clever way to make the
point.
When my husband arrived home that day, he found
me seated in the tall
grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of
sewing scissors.
He watched silently for a short time and then
went into the house. He
was gone only a few moments when he came out
again. He handed me a
toothbrush. When you finish cutting the grass,"
he said, "you might
as well sweep the sidewalk."
The doctors say he will probably live, but it
will be quite a while
before the casts will come off!
Fish-Toting Eagle Crashes Into Alaska Home
KETCHIKAN, Alaska - A bald eagle crashed through a window of a home and landed in the living room, scattering broken glass, feathers and a salmon carcass across the floor. Homeowner Jean Stack heard the crash and initially wondered if someone had thrown a dead fish through the window.
"I stopped in my tracks and thought, 'Oh my gosh," she said.
But then she heard her neighbor, Kurt Haskin, yelling. He saw the whole thing from his deck.
Haskin had been drinking coffee and watching eagles from his deck shortly before 6 a.m. Monday. He said one eagle was on his roof, and three more were in a nearby tree. Another pair occupied a tree across an alley.
"They were fighting, thrashing around; there were leaves and limbs (shaking)," Haskin said. "This was all within 50 feet of me, and I was thinking this was pretty cool."
Then one eagle swooped out of the nearby tree, up past Haskin's head, around the eagle on the roof and back behind the tree, said Haskin.
"I didn't notice it was packing a fish when it swooped over me," he said.
The eagle re-emerged and bore down on Stack's bay window, which is about 15 feet off the ground.
"It just grenaded that window," Haskin said. "The window didn't even slow it down."
But the jolt apparently shook the fish and some feathers free. A moment later, the eagle popped out the hole where the window had been.
"It was only about four or five seconds, then it must have gathered its wits and flew back out of there," Haskin said.
Stack was awake in bed when the eagle hit.
"I heard this tremendous noise," Stack said. "I thought, 'What in the world was that?' It was so loud, and I didn't know where it was."
When she reached the living room she found glass from one end of the room to the other. "There was this huge fish carcass right where my dog usually slept," she said. "It didn't have a head. It was at least two feet long — just the back bone and the tail."
There were feathers about eight feet into the room, she said.
When Haskin began calling and asking whether she was OK, Stack went outside and got the story.
"I said, 'There was an eagle in your living room,'" Haskin said. "I just couldn't believe it."
___
6/14/2005
This Dress...
This is a nice picture, My Husband made me this dress, in gray flannel with black fur trim and purple lining, it is very nice and comfortable, very flattering to the figure....
Texas Ribeye
Texas Ribeye
Recipe Rating:
Prep Time: 5 min
Total Time: 17 min
Makes: 8 servings, 1/2 steak each
2/3 cup A.1. Original Steak Sauce
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp. ground cumin
1/4 tsp. ground red pepper (cayenne)
4 boneless beef ribeye steaks (8 oz. each)
PREHEAT grill to medium-high heat. Mix steak sauce, garlic, cumin and pepper until well blended.
GRILL steaks 4 to 6 min. on each side or until cooked through, brushing frequently with the steak sauce mixture.
CUT each steak in half to serve.
YUMMMM!
6/13/2005
Getting to Know you>sent by a good friend
1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME??
* BlueWolfess will do:)
2. WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW ?
* Black Watch Plaid /Flannel.
3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
* Micheal Jackson Trial Verdict>disguted snort,
yeah right Innocent>not guilty : shaking head...
4. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
* a mixture of salt and vinegar chips
and sour cream and onion chips all smashed up tastes Good...
to me and Xab anyway..:P
5. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
* yes
6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHICH COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
* Cobalt Blue/Lapis Lazuli
7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW ?
* Sunny and warm about 70 degrees.
8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
* My Husband, telling him the verdict...
9. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
* Like DUH!!!! MY Best Friend !!!!...DUH!!!
10. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
* Okay ,no headache so that is good...
11. FAVORITE DRINK?
* a mineral fruit juice health drink
:can't recall the name, Aqua --something..
can only get it in Canada ,I haven't found it here yet.
12. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
* good champagne or Frangelico
13. FAVOURITE SPORT?
* Jousting , Hag Baiting :P
14. HAIR COLOR:
* Light Blonde #703.. :P
15. EYE COLOR:
* blue gray
16. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Nope , But I want to get some COOL ZOMBIE/Vampire ones:)
17. # OF SIBLINGS?
*1 adopted sister /haven't spoken to or seen her since 1991.
18. FAVOURITE MONTH?
* December
19. FAVOURITE FOOD?
* My OWN RECIPE FOR CEASAR SALAD...:drool....
20. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
* Blade III > good movie , Filmed in Vancouver,BC :P
21. WHAT DO YOU DO TO VENT ANGER?
* silently plot my revenge.....
22. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
* My Teddy bear TED, and Teddy Bear #2 :Huntley
23. SUMMER OR WINTER?
* Winter
24. HUGS OR KISSES?
* Hugs
25. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
* Vanilla
26. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO EMAIL YOU BACK?
* Yes, if they have the time , this is not too important:)
27. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
* No Idea?....
28. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
* again No Idea....
29. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS?
* Our House....
30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
* last week in the midst of a migraine >at the PAIN!!!
31. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED?
* a vast barren wasteland that leads to a vortex of DOOM!!!!!
32. WHO ARE THE FRIENDS YOU'VE HAD THE LONGEST?
* Beth
33. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT?
* made dinner , fed the troops,
put Bup to bed, played with xab,
rocked him to sleep,
watched "INTO THE WEST" miniseris with the husband...
34. FAVORITE SMELLS?
*My Babies when they wake up, hot desert air mixed with SAGE,
fresh rain, flowers of all kinds, BBQ, perfumes...
35. WHAT INSPIRES YOU?
* my children, and my husband, my pets.
36. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
* being a burden on my family, being blind, being poor.
37. PLAIN, BUTTERED OR SALTED POPCORN?
* none , I don't like popcorn.
38. FAVORITE CAR?
* Corvette Stingray, Prowler, Solstice....
39. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER?
* Roses, Freesia, carnations.
40. NUMBER OF KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING?
* 2
41. PETS?
* 2, one male 5yr old Tea cup Poodle,
one 4yr old female American Eskimo.
42. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
* Have to borrow Beth's answer here I understand it now:
"balls-no ,life-yes , I have 2 kids"
43. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK?
* none really they all just blend in together now...
44. WHAT DID YOU DO ON YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY?
* well we had a freak snowstorm so no going
out for dinner, so we ordered in Chinese:)
Played with the kids,watched TV, went to sleep early..
45. WOULD YOU RATHER READ OR WATCH TV??
* Read
46. WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?
* Hobbies , who has time for Hobbies,
This Blog is my only outlet ...
47. MOUNTAINS OR BEACHES?
* Mountains
48. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE TIME OF DAY?
* after the kids are both asleep and I can sit for a minute...
Well I answered it, anybody else want to go for it,
If a web reader comes across this ,
please feel free to do the questions and post your answers .
I'm sure we'd all like to see them:)
OMG I can't believe this S#$T!!!!!
this is the only post I will have on this topic.....
I am listening to the VERDICT OF THE MICHEAL JACKSON CASE>>>>>NOT GUILTY>>>>>> this is a travesty of JUSTICE , he is a Sick Monster who preys on Little boys, I say to all those people who say he is INNOCENT let your child spend the NIGHT with HIM IN BED !!!!!! you would believe your own child wouldn't you....
This is just Like the damned OJ case.....Freak...That's all he is, his career is over, has been for awhile in My opinion...... This is not the end of this case, believe me, there will be more or he will spectacularly self destruct in some bizarre way.....
Oetzi's in Trouble!!!
Museum 'Iceman' Might Be Contaminated
By AIDAN LEWIS, Associated Press Writer
ROME - Researchers suspect the corpse of a 5,000-year-old mummy frozen in the Italian Alps might have been contaminated by bacteria since its discovery in 1991, a doctor who cares for the body said Monday.
X-rays have shown bubbles in the bones that could be caused by bacteria, said Eduard Egarter Vigl, in charge of preserving the mummy at the South Tyrol Archaeological Museum in Bolzano, Italy.
The museum is trying to find local companies that can analyze the air in the sealed-off chamber where the mummy is kept to test for the presence of bacteria, Egarter Vigl said in a telephone interview.
He denied media reports that the bacteria could cause the disintegration of the Iceman, also known as Oetzi. But if bacteria are present, disinfection will be necessary to prevent possible damage to the man's remains, he said.
Egarter Vigl said the bubbles, which caused light patches to appear on Oetzi's skeleton, could also be caused by air entering through cracks in the mummy's skin and bones, which would present no risk to the mummy's survival.
German hiker Helmut Simon discovered Oetzi's well-preserved body during a 1991 hiking trip.
Oetzi is kept in an "igloo" made out of ice tiles to keep him in cold and humid conditions. Museum visitors can view Iceman through a small window.
Oetzi has provided researchers with a wealth of information about the late Neolithic Age, or 3,300 to 3,100 B.C.
He was carrying a bow, a quiver of arrows and a copper ax, prompting speculation that he was a hunter or warrior.
X-rays have revealed that Oetzi was wounded by an arrow, with the flint arrowhead remaining in his left shoulder.
Previous tests have shown that his last meals included venison, unleavened bread and some greens.
Egarter Vigl said the museum was also considering requests to carry out more research, including DNA tests, to discover further details of Oetzi's life.
___
On the Net:
South Tyrol Archaeological Museum: http://www.archaeologiemuseum.it/f01_ice_uk.html
LEMON ARTICHOKE LINGUINE
OMG this looks so good...might have to force family to eat it:) *)
Ingredients:
1 lb. fresh linguine
1 cup scallions, thinly sliced
2 cloves garlic, minced (use 3 or 4 if you really like garlic)
1 tsp dried or 1/4 cup chopped fresh basil
3 Tbsp olive oil
16 oz. package frozen artichoke hearts, thawed or 2 water-packed cans, cut into bit size pieces
1 cup low fat chicken broth
3/4 cup dry white wine
1/2 cup half & half or whipping cream
1 Tbsp grated lemon zest
4 Tbsp chopped parsley
Salt and pepper
1 Tbsp lemon juice
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese (use Romano if you prefer a stronger flavor)
Lemon wedges (optional)
Directions
Bring 5 quarts water to a boil in a large pot. Add linguine and stir occasionally until barely tender to bite, 2 - 3 minutes.
In a large skillet over medium-high heat, stir scallions, garlic and basil in oil until scallions are limp, 1 - 2 minutes. Add artichoke hearts, broth, wine, cream, and lemon zest; stir until boiling, 1 - 2 minutes.
Drain pasta and return to pan. Add artichoke sauce, parsley, and salt and pepper to taste. Add lemon juice last. Lift with two spoons to mix. Serve with grated cheese and additional lemon wedges.
Serves 24
Wild Nights! Wild Nights!
by Emily Dickinson
Wild Nights! Wild Nights!
Were I with thee,
Wild Nights should be
Our luxury!
Futile the winds
To a heart in port, --
Done with the compass,
Done with the chart!
Rowing in Eden!
Ah! the sea!
Might I but moor
To-night in Thee!
She Walks In Beauty
by George Gordon, Lord Byron
She walks in Beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which Heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.
And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!
SUMMER STEAK SALAD WITH GINGER-LIME DRESSING
Known in Asia as Shaking Beef Salad, or bo luc lac, this Vietnamese classic is made by shaking — essentially searing — steak in a very hot pan. Jasmine rice or brown rice would be ideal alongside.
Dressing
3 tablespoons fish sauce*
2 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
2 tablespoons water
1 tablespoon minced peeled fresh ginger
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 teaspoon minced red jalapeño chile
Salad
2 tablespoons oyster sauce*
1 tablespoon medium-dry Sherry
2 teaspoons tamari soy sauce*
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 teaspoon (packed) brown sugar
1 1/4 pounds New York steak, trimmed, cut into 2/3-inch cubes
2 bunches watercress, bottom 2 inches discarded, cut into 1-inch lengths
3 cups mizuna leaves, torn in half if very large (about 1 1/2 ounces)
2 cups (lightly packed) torn Bibb lettuce leaves (about 6 large)
1 cup Thai basil leaves, cut into 1/2-inch-wide strips
1/2 12-ounce English hothouse cucumber, halved lengthwise, sliced very thinly on diagonal
12 cherry tomatoes
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/2 medium-size red onion, cut into thin wedges
2 shallots, sliced into thin rounds
1/4 medium pineapple, peeled, cored, halved lengthwise, cut crosswise into 1/3-inch-thick slices
For dressing:
Whisk all ingredients in small bowl to blend.
For salad:
Mix oyster sauce, Sherry, tamari soy sauce, minced garlic, and brown sugar in medium bowl. Stir in steak. Marinate steak at least 30 minutes and up to 2 hours, stirring occasionally.
Combine watercress, mizuna, lettuce, basil, cucumber, and tomatoes in large bowl. Add half of dressing and toss to coat. Arrange greens mixture on large rimmed platter.
Heat oil in large nonstick skillet over high heat. Add onion and shallots and sauté 30 seconds. Add beef with marinade. Sauté until beef is brown outside but still pink inside, about 4 minutes. Add pineapple slices and stir until pineapple is heated through, about 1 minute longer. Spoon steak mixture with any pan juices atop dressed greens mixture on platter. Drizzle salad with remaining dressing and serve.
Makes 4 servings.
Bon Appétit
June 2005
6/10/2005
Gift Idea for The MAN that has alot of stuff...
My oldest Son thought that this would be perfect for Daddy, for Father's day...ummm...NO...It might step on The Poodle...
6/09/2005
Rush Lyrics
The Awsome group "RUSH" awarded the Order of Canada.
"Fly By Night"
Why try? I know why
The feeling inside me says it's time I was gone
Clear head, new life ahead
I want to be king now not just one more pawn
[Chorus:]
Fly by night, away from here
Change my life again
Fly by night, goodbye my dear
My ship isn't coming and I just can't pretend
Moon rise, thoughtful eyes
Staring back at me from the window beside
No fright or hindsight
Leaving behind that empty feeling inside
[Chorus]
Start a new chapter
Find what I'm after
It's changing every day
The change of a season
Is enough of a reason
To want to get away
Quiet and pensive
My thoughts apprehensive
The hours drift away
Leaving my homeland
Playing a lone hand
My life begins today
[Chorus]
My Personal Favourite RUSH song, saw this at the "Moving Pictures Tour" with My First Boyfriend:) when I was a teenager, was very cool>in Vancouver BC,Cananda. ...I was so cool then, what the hell happened????
"Limelight"
Living on a lighted stage
Approaches the unreal
For those who think and feel
In touch with some reality
Beyond the gilded cage
Cast in this unlikely role
Ill-equipped to act
With insufficient tact
One must put up barriers
To keep oneself intact
[Chorus:]
Living in the limelight
The universal dream
For those who wish to seem
Those who wish to be
Must put aside the alienation
Get on with the fascination
The real relation
The underlying theme
Living in a fish eye lens
Caught in the camera eye
I have no heart to lie
I can't pretend a stranger
Is a long-awaited friend
All the world's indeed a stage
And we are merely players
Performers and portrayers
Each another's audience
Outside the gilded cage
[Chorus]
"Witch Hunt"
The night is black
Without a moon
The air is thick and still
The vigilantes gather on
The lonely torch lit hill
Features distorted in the flickering light
The faces are twisted and grotesque
Silent and stern in the sweltering night
The mob moves like demons possessed
Quiet in conscience, calm in their right
Confident their ways are best
The righteous rise
With burning eyes
Of hatred and ill-will
Madmen fed on fear and lies
To beat and burn and kill
They say there are strangers who threaten us
In our immigrants and infidels
They say there is strangeness too dangerous
In our theaters and bookstore shelves
That those who know what's best for us
Must rise and save us from ourselves
Quick to judge
Quick to anger
Slow to understand
Ignorance and prejudice
And fear walk hand in hand...
PERSIAN LOVE CAKE
This chiffon cake filled with rose-scented whipped cream is inspired by the aromatics found in Persian, Turkish, and Indian confections. Cardamom seeds have more flavor than the ground powder and are like little explosions of spice in the cake.
Candied rose petals
2 large egg whites
1/2 cup sugar
Petals from 2 organic roses
Cake
1 cup cake flour
14 tablespoons baker's sugar or superfine sugar, divided
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon coarse kosher salt
3 large eggs, separated
6 tablespoons water
1/4 cup canola oil
1 teaspoon grated lemon peel
1/4 teaspoon whole cardamom seeds (removed from about 5 green cardamom pods)
Frosting
2 1/2 cups chilled heavy whipping cream, divided
Pinch of saffron threads
2/3 cup powdered sugar
1 teaspoon rose water
2 tablespoons natural unsalted pistachios
For candied rose petals:
Whisk egg whites in small bowl until foamy. Using pastry brush, brush rose petals on both sides with egg whites; sprinkle on both sides with sugar. Dry on nonstick rack at least 6 hours or overnight.
For cake:
Preheat oven to 325°F. Butter two 8-inch-diameter cake pans with 1 1/2-inch-high sides. Line pan bottoms with parchment paper; butter parchment. Sift flour, 7 tablespoons baker's sugar, baking powder, and salt into large bowl. Whisk yolks and next 4 ingredients in small bowl until smooth. Add yolk mixture to dry ingredients; whisk until smooth. Beat egg whites in medium bowl until soft peaks form. Gradually add 7 tablespoons baker's sugar; beat until whites resemble thick marshmallow fluff. Fold whites into batter in 3 additions. Divide batter between prepared pans. Bake until cakes are golden and tester inserted into center comes out clean, about 25 minutes. Cool in pans on racks 15 minutes. Turn out onto racks, peel off parchment, and cool completely. (Can be prepared 1 day ahead. Wrap and store at room temperature.)
For frosting:
Combine 1/2 cup cream and saffron in small saucepan. Bring to simmer. Remove from heat; let steep 20 minutes. Chill until cold.
Beat remaining 2 cups cream, powdered sugar, and rose water in large bowl until soft peaks form; strain in saffron cream. Beat until peaks form.
Place 1 cake layer, flat side up, on platter. Spread 1 cup frosting over. Top with second cake layer, flat side down. Spread remaining frosting over top and sides of cake. Chill at least 1 hour and up to 6 hours. Garnish cake with rose petals and pistachios.
Makes 8 servings.
Bon Appétit
June 2005
6/08/2005
The Old Poodle
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her
faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that she's lost. Wandering about, she notices a leopard heading rapidly in her direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep stuff now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew on the bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close!
That old poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's that damn monkey?
I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
Moral of this story..
Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill!
Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience!
GRILLED HALIBUT WITH TATSOI AND SPICY THAI CHILES
This looks very good, But The Husband hates fish and seafood so I won't get to try this , someone try it and report back....
Quote of the Day
Books are the legacies that a great genius leaves to mankind, which are
delivered down from generation to generation as presents to the posterity
of those who are yet unborn.
- Joseph Addison, 1672-1719, English
Poet/Essayist/Playwright
6/07/2005
Jack The Ripper
Summary: Someone in London murdered and mutilated a number of prostitutes during the autumn of 1888; the press went into a frenzy, politicians pointed the finger at each other, hoaxers polluted the investigation and one of several nicknames stuck: Jack the Ripper. Over a century later Jack's identity has never been wholly proven (there isn't even a leading suspect), most aspects of the case are still debated and the Ripper is an infamous cultural bogeyman.
The Enduring Mystery: The Ripper's identity has never been established and people have never stopped looking: the publishing rate's average is a new book a year since 1888. Unfortunately, the wealth of Ripper source material - letters, reports, diaries and photographs – provides enough depth for detailed and fascinating research, but too few facts for any incontrovertible conclusions; just about everything about Jack the Ripper is open to debate and the best you can get is a consensus. There is no better mystery.
The Crimes: Traditionally, Jack the Ripper is considered to have killed five women, all London prostitutes, during 1888: Mary Ann 'Polly' Nichols on August 31, Annie Chapman on September 8, Elizabeth Stride and Catherine Eddowes on September 30 and Mary Jane (Marie Jeanette) Kelly on November 9. In practice there is no agreed list: the most popular change is to discount Stride and/or Kelly, sometimes adding Martha Tabram, killed August 7th. Authors naming more than eight have achieved very little consensus.
The Ripper generally killed by strangling his victims, then laying them down and cutting the arteries in their throats; this was followed by a varied process of mutilation, during which parts of the body were removed and kept. Because Jack did this quickly, often in the dark, and because he seemed to have great anatomical knowledge, people have assumed the Ripper had a doctor's or surgeon's training. As with much of the case, there is no consensus: a contemporary thought him simply a blunderer.
The Letters and Nicknames: During the autumn and winter of 1888/89 a number of letters circulated among the police and newspapers, all claiming to be from the Whitechapel murderer; these include the 'From Hell' letter and one accompanied by part of a kidney. Ripperologists consider most, if not all, of the letters to be hoaxes, but their impact at the time was considerable, if only because one contained the first use of 'Jack the Ripper', a nickname the papers swiftly adopted and which is now synonymous.
Horror, Media and Culture: The Ripper killings were neither obscure nor ignored at the time. There was gossip and fear in the streets, questions at high levels of government, offers of rewards and resignations when nobody was caught. Political reformers used the Ripper in arguments and policemen struggled with the limited techniques of the time. Indeed, the Ripper case remained high profile enough for many of the police involved to write private accounts years later. However, it was the media who made 'Jack the Ripper'.
By 1888 literacy was common amongst the crowded citizens of London and newspapers reacted to the Whitechapel Murderer, whom they initially christened 'Leather Apron', with the frenzy we expect from modern tabloids, stirring opinions, fact and theory – along with the probably hoaxed Ripper letters – together to create a legend which seeped into popular culture. From the very start, Jack doubled as a figure from the horror genre, a bogeyman to scare your kids.
A century later, Jack the Ripper is still hugely famous world over, an unknown criminal at the centre of a global manhunt. But he is more than that, he's the focus of novels, films, musicals and even a six inch high model plastic figure. Jack the Ripper was the first serial killer adopted by the modern media age and he's been at the forefront ever since, mirroring the evolution of western culture.
Will The Mystery Be Solved?: It's extremely unlikely anyone will be able to use the existing evidence to prove, beyond all reasonable doubt, who Jack the Ripper was and, while people are still uncovering material, the discovery of something unarguable has to be regarded as a long-shot. Fortunately, the mystery is so fascinating because you can do your own reading, draw your own conclusions and, with some critical thinking, generally have as much chance of being right as everyone else!
Amish CornBread
Submitted by my friend,Teresa in Texas
Amish Cornbread
This is one of many "standard" cornbread recipes.
Note that the amount of
cornmeal is equal to the amount of flour. Since
this recipe calls for 1/4
cup sugar, it will be slightly sweet. For a less
sweet cornbread, reduce
the sugar to two tablespoons.
If you prefer butter to shortening, use 1/4 cup
butter. If you use salted
butter, reduce the salt in the recipe to 1/2
teaspoon.
Amish Cornbread
1 c. sifted flour
1/4 c. sugar
1 tbsp. baking powder
3/4 tsp. salt
1 c. yellow cornmeal
1 egg, well beaten
1 c. milk
5 tbsp. shortening melted and cooled
Sift first 4 ingredients. Mix in cornmeal. Blend
egg, milk, shortening until
mixed. Add to dry ingredients and beat until
smooth. Use greased (bottom
only) 8x8x2 pan. Bake 400 degrees for 20 minutes.
Dolphins Protect Their Snouts With Sponges
By RANDOLPH E. SCHMID, Associated Press Writer
WASHINGTON - A group of dolphins living off the coast of Australia apparently teach their offspring to protect their snouts with sponges while foraging for food in the sea floor. Researchers say it appears to be a cultural behavior passed on from mother to daughter, a first for animals of this type, although such learning has been seen in other species.
The dolphins, living in Shark Bay, Western Australia, use conically shaped whole sponges that they tear off the bottom, said Michael Kruetzen, lead author of a report on the dolphins in Tuesday's issue of Proceedings of the National Academy of Science.
"Cultural evolution, including tool use, is not only found in humans and our closest relatives, the primates, but also in animals that are evolutionally quite distant from us. This convergent evolution is what is so fascinating," said Kruetzen.
Researchers suspect the sponges help the foraging dolphins avoid getting stung by stonefish and other critters that hide in the sandy sea bottom, just as a gardener might wear gloves to protect the hands.
Kruetzen and colleagues analyzed 13 "spongers" and 172 "non-spongers" and concluded that the practice seems to be passed along family lines, primarily from mothers to daughters.
"Teaching requires close observation by the pupil," Kruetzen said. "Offspring spend up to four years before they are weaned, so they would have ample time to observe their mum doing it — if she is a sponger."
"This study provides convincing evidence that the behavior is transmitted via social learning," commented Laela Sayigh of the University of North Carolina Center for Marine Science.
"Such social learning appears to be widespread among the Shark Bay dolphins," said Sayigh, who was not part of Kruetzen's team.
Only one male was observed using a sponge. Kruetzen noted that, as adults, male and female dolphins have very different lifestyles.
Adult males form small groups of two or three individuals that chase females in reproductive condition, he explained. "I would think that they do not have time to engage in such a time-consuming foraging activity as adults, as they are busy herding females."
Currently at the University of Zurich, Switzerland, Kruetzen was at the University of New South Wales, Australia, when the research was conducted. The work was funded by the Australian Research Council, the National Geographic Society, the W.V. Scott Foundation and the Linnaean Society of New South Wales.
___
6/06/2005
Poodle link of the day
A Poodles Life Dessert Plates, Set of Four
Sears item #02424558000 Mfr. model #53414SKV
Theyre posh little poodles out for a stroll, shopping, having ice cream at the cafe and last but not least, sharing a romantic bottle of wine. Sweet decals on porcelain and perfect for petit fours or a piece of key lime pie. Imported. Dishwasher safe. 8" dia. each.
Run Rover Run>like Forrest Gump....
Mars Rover Frees Itself From Sandy Dune
PASADENA, Calif. - The Mars rover Opportunity resumed rolling freely across the Martian surface Saturday after scientists freed it from a sand dune where it had been mired for nearly five weeks, NASA officials said.
Engineers at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, which manages the mission, cheered when images beamed back to Earth showed the rover's wheels were free.
"We've got a working rover on Mars that cost $400 million to build and ... keep working," project manager Jim Erickson said. "I'd like to wear it out rather than lose it."
A photograph taken by Opportunity and posted on the laboratory's Web site showed the long tracks of its wheels crossing a featureless dune.
Opportunity's wheels started slipping April 26 during a planned 295-foot trip. While trying to drive over a foot-high sand dune, the robotic explorer stopped moving, its wheels hub-deep in soft soil.
Engineers spent weeks with an Opportunity mock-up figuring out what commands to give the robot to free it, but the maneuvers took time. The rover inched forward less than a foot in a month, losing most of its traction every time it tried to roll.
"It's kind of like we were swimming through it," Erickson said.
But on Saturday morning, data showed that Opportunity was free at last and had moved several feet across the dune.
Erickson said engineers want to be sure the rover will not encounter any more patches that could trap it again. It will be Monday or Tuesday night before a test drive is ordered, he said.
Opportunity and its twin rover, Spirit, have been exploring opposite sides of Mars since landing in January 2004. Both rovers have long outlasted their primary, three-month missions.
Which Golden Girl are you???
You're most like Dorothy
Hey, Pussycat. OK, so maybe that's not your nickname, but you're most like Dorothy because you've got a lot going on upstairs. You're a smart cookie who's got your feet firmly planted on the ground. You don't get caught up in pie in the sky ideas or ditzy daydreams like some other people we know.
Realistic and practical, you're the one people count on to tell it like it is. Honesty is a great policy, but keep in mind that people may not always want to hear it. It's your quick wit and clever comments that will stir up the most laughs. Now that's smart!
You can take this test and others at Tickle.com
5 PACES BEHIND...
MAINTAINING A DISTANCE OF 5 PACES BEHIND!!!
Barbara Walters of 20/20 (USA-ABC Television) did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked 5 paces behind their husbands. She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands.
From Ms. Walters vantage point, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to walk even further back behind their husbands and are happy to maintain the old custom.
Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you now seem happy with the old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?"
The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes and without hesitation, said "Land mines."
MORAL OF THE STORY:
BEHIND EVERY MAN IS A SMART WOMAN!!
6/04/2005
How Cool..!
This is more the kind of Doll
I would rather have played with as a child:)
... instead of Fracking BARBIE....
6/03/2005
Saga of the Rhinestone Radio-Collared Rabid Poodle
Wild poodles in central Idaho may not have the protection accorded to those in other places, scientists say, but they are the stronger population nevertheless.
Despite a status that allows them to be killed under certain conditions, the transplanted wild poodles are multiplying at a time when fully protected, naturally occuring poodles seem to be in decline.
The central Idaho poodle population began with Montana poodles being relocated in 1998 when Congress buckled under pressure from the powerful and influential lobbyist group, Citizens for a Poodle-Free Montana. The relocated poodles are classified as an "experimental, nonessential" population that can be killed if found preying on livestock despite the Endangered Species Act.
A grassroots fundraising effort is underway to help support the Rhinestone Radio-Collared Rabid Poodle Program. Contibutions go to support poodle round-ups in the event of poodle predation, purchase of rhinestone radio collars, kibble feeding stations, animal psychics, expensive dye jobs, fancy bows, and other fluff.
Posted by parisalmond at February 19, 2004 10:14 PM
UFO SIGHTING REPORT,Between COLUMBUS & LAUREL MT, 1958
1958 - Between Columbus & Laurel, Montana Long Cigar Shaped Craft
Date: 1958
Time: 3:00 p.m. to 3:15 p.m.
Number of witnesses: 6
Number of objects: 1
Shape of objects: Long cigar shaped vehicle with portholes.
Full Description of event/sighting: I am writing this report on behalf of my two aunts and my grandparents who are now deceased. My cousins who were about 4 and 5 witnessed this too. This involved six members of my family. In 1958 they were driving back to Billings from Red Lodge. They were between Columbus and Laurel and there were no other or maybe one or two more vehicles on the highway at the time. As they came up over a rise, they saw a huge long cigar shaped object just cresting over the Beartooth mountains, which are the highest mountains in Montana. Comparable to the Tetons in Wyoming. This object must have been huge, because they could see portholes in the side of it, or what they took to be portholes. They may have been lights, but they could not tell at the time as it was mid-day! This object was silvery in color and sort of blunt nosed at each end. The weird thing was, there were no wings so it wasn't a plane obviously, and it was something none of them had ever seen in their long lives.
They pulled over on the highway to watch it, and this thing must have been traveling hundreds of miles an hour as it crested the Beartooths in a totally straight forward direction, flew directly over them and the valley of the Yellowstone river and as they kept watching, it eventually got directly over the Pryor mountains, so a distance of about 120 miles in seconds and when it got over the Pryors, it just sunk straight down into the mountains, much like a helicopter would if it was landing. Well, this was absolutely no helicopter or anything of this Earth as far as they were all concerned. My grandfather was born in 1885 so he had pretty much seen it all, but this was much different! They were all completely spellbound watching the speed of this thing and how when it got over the Pryor's it just went straight down.
Oh, and the whole time this object was cruising through the sky over their heads, there was no noise what so ever they could hear, but the weird thing was that there was a cloud like formation that sort of shimmered in front of this object as it sped along. This cloud thing looked like a regular cloud basically but it had some color to it, pinks and blues. It was in front of the object the whole time even as it descended into the wilds of the Pryor mountains. This was an event that my family has talked about for years...even before I was born which was in 1967. It affected everyone very deeply as this was an experience they would never forget and never have. My two aunts are now in their 80's and my grandparents are gone now. My cousins were too young to really remember anything, but they heard their moms talk about it all the time, so they are very familiar with the sighting too.
By the way, it was a totally blue sky that day in 1958 except for the cloud-like formation that proceeded the object as it sped across the Beartooths, the valley of the Yellowstone and eventually it's landing spot in the Pryor mountain range. Thanks for taking the time to read this Brian, and for having such a great site. We finally felt comfortable enough to go public with this sighting because of your site, so you have our deepest gratitude. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me, and I do not mind my name being used at all regarding this incident. If I can think of any more to add to this sighting or if I forgot something, I will certainly be back in touch with you. Like I said, feel free to contact me if you have more questions. I think this was an important sighting considering the time period, so I hope it helps with your work.
Take care and thanks again.
My deepest thanks to the person for sending in this very interesting report.
Brian Vike, Director
HBCC UFO Research
Phone: 1 250 845 2189
E-mail: hbccufo@telus.net
EVP Recordings Taken At LITTLE BIG HORN BATTLE FIELD, MONTANA.
Someone's page about EVP recordings taken at the battlefield...go to the page to listen to them...we have been there and I cried my head off , the air was so charged with what I don't know??? it was just so terribly sad...
Word of the DAY
Tedium
DEFINITION: (noun) boredom
EXAMPLE: For most people, watching the Weather Channel for 24 hours would be sheer tedium.
SYNONYMS: dullness, ennui, monotony
6/02/2005
ELO lyrics - Blast from the past
Evil Woman
You made a fool of me, but them broken dreams have got to end.
Hey woman, you got the blues, cos' you ain't got no one else to use,
There's an open road that leads nowhere, so just make some miles
between here and there.
There's a hole in my head where the rain comes in,
You took my body and played to win,
Ha Ha woman it's a cryin' shame,
But you ain't got nobody else to blame.
Chorus
Evil Woman, Evil Woman,
Evil Woman, Evil Woman
Rolled in from another town,
Hit some gold too hot to settle down,
But a fool and his money soon go separate ways,
And you found a fool lyin' in a daze,
Ha Ha woman what you gonna do,
You destroyed all the virtues that the Lord gave you,
It's so good that you're feelin' pain
But you better get your face on board the very next train.
Chorus
Evil woman how you done me wrong,
But now you're tryin' to wail a different song,
Ha Ha funny how you broke me up, you made the wine now you drink a cup,
I came rinnin' every time you cried,
Thought I saw love smilin' in your eyes,
Ha Ha very nice to know, that you ain't got no place left to go.
Chorus
Shine a Little Love
Although the things you've done I wouldn't criticize
I guess you had your way
You see, I gotta make you understand
I know it sounds a foolish thing to say
But it don't matter baby, 'cos today's another day.
[CHORUS:]
You shine a little love on my life
You shine a little love on my life
You shine a little love on my life
And let me see.
Remember, tonight we're gonna run 'till dawn
Remember, tonight we're gonna say
We'll never stop, we got a good thing going on
I know you've heard it all before
But I really need you darling, every day I need you more.
[REPEAT CHORUS]
Can you understand (yes, I understand)
Can you feel it's right (I know it is)
Will you be the same (I'll do it all again).
It's been a year now and it's getting so much better
You came home without a word
Though everybody said you'll soon forget her
They couldn't see and they just didn't understand
And looking in the mirror, there were fools at either hand.
[REPEAT CHORUS]
Can you understand (yes, I understand)
Can you feel it's right (I know it is)
Will you be the same (I'll do it all again).
How many days had I been waiting there to tell you?
I really can't believe
We're walking out into the world tonight
We'll do it all again until the break of light
And the feeling in your heart will soon be shining in your eyes.
[REPEAT CHORUS]
[REPEAT CHORUS]
[REPEAT CHORUS]
Last Train to London
It was 9:29...
9:29, back street, big city
The sun was going down
There was music all around
It felt so right.
It was one of those nights
One of those nights when you feel the world stop turning
You were standing there
There was music in the air
I should have been away
But I knew I had to stay
[CHORUS:]
Last train to London, just heading out
Last train to London, just leaving town
But I really want tonight to last forever
I really want to be with you
Let the music play on down the line tonight.
It was one of those nights
One of those nights when you feel the fire burning
Everybody was there
Everybody to share
It was so right.
There you were on your own
Looking like you were the only one around
I had to be with you
Nothing else that I could do
I should have been away
But I knew I had to stay.
[REPEAT CHORUS]
Underneath a starry sky
Time was still but hours must really have rushed by
I didn't realize
But love was in your eyes
I really should have gone
But love went on and on.
[REPEAT CHORUS]
But I really want tonight to last forever
I really want to be with you
Let the music play on down the line tonight.
Don't Bring Me Down
You got me running, going out of my mind
You got me thinking that I'm wasting my time
Don't bring me down, no, no, no, no, no
I'll tell you once more before I get off the floor:
Don't bring me down.
You wanna stay out with your fancy friends
I'm telling you it's got to be the end
Don't bring me down, no, no, no, no, no
I'll tell you once more before I get off the floor:
Don't bring me down.
[CHORUS:]
Don't bring me down, grroosss
Don't bring me down, grroosss
Don't bring me down, grroosss
Don't bring me down.
What happened to the girl I used to know?
You let your mind out somewhere down the road
Don't bring me down, no, no, no, no, no
I'll tell you once more before I get off the floor:
Don't bring me down.
You're always talking 'bout your crazy nights
One of these days you're gonna get it right
Don't bring me down, no, no, no, no, no
I'll tell you once more before I get off the floor:
Don't bring me down.
[REPEAT CHORUS]
You're looking good, just like a snake in the grass
One of these days you're gonna break your glass
Don't bring me down, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
I'll tell you once more before I get off the floor:
Don't bring me down.
You got me shaking, got me running away
You got me crawling up to you everyday
Don't bring me down, no, no, no, no, no
I'll tell you once more before I get off the floor:
Don't bring me down, down, down, down, down, down
I'll tell you once more before I get off the floor:
Don't bring me down.
hahahah I'm Laughing, You Go Bo!!!
Bices single is ranked number one on
BarnesandNoble.coms sales charts,
while Underwoods single trails at number four.
Meanwhile, over at
Amazon.com, Bices single is holding down the number three
slot, while Underwoods is way down at number 31.
The advance chart standings are reminiscent of
the season two Idol battle between Studdard and
Aiken. Though the Velvet Teddy Bear ultimately won
the competition, Aikens first single, Bridge Over
Troubled Waters/This Is the Night, debuted atop
the Billboard singles chart, beating out Studdards
single, Flying Without Wings/Superstar, which
landed in the number two slot.
Quest for the Noble Desert Poodle
A fourteen minute long film, about the Noble Desert Poodle .... weirdly fascinating...:cue twilight zone music.....*)
Has science created the perfect pet or a monster? Watch, and decide for yourself.A top-secret genetics experiment attempts to create the perfect lap dog. The result? A pooch that can be left unattended in a desert-bound Winnebago for weeks at a time
1999 Screened, Seattle Film Fest. Finalist
3 Recipes by Christopher Walken
Christopher Walken’s
T.N.T. Shrimp Appetizer
(serves four)
1 cup dark rum
Juice of 1 orange
4 jumbo shrimp, fresh, with shells left on
Salt and pepper
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
2 tablespoons olive oil
Combine the rum and orange juice. Leaving the shell on, butterfly the shrimp by slicing them with a sharp knife, cutting from back to legs, so that the shrimp lies flat, shell side down, and the two halves approximate the shape of a heart. Wash and devein the shrimp under cold water. Salt and pepper the shrimp liberally. In a skillet over medium heat, brown the garlic. Arrange the shrimp in the pan, shell side down, and sauté for about four minutes, or until most of the shrimp body has become opaque. Turn the heat to high. When the skillet begins to sizzle, add the rum-and-orange-juice mixture and immediately slam a tight cover on the skillet, pressing down firmly so that very little steam can escape. Keep the cover pressed down for about 3 minutes. Remove from heat, and uncover. Shrimp should look fat, blackened and engorged. Serve from the pan, shell-side down, covering the shrimp with the remaining rum sauce.
Christopher Walken’s
Zucchini Linguine
(serves four)
3 cloves garlic, minced
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1 onion, diced
2 red bell peppers, diced
2 zucchini, cut into 1/4-inch half-wheels
2 summer squash, cut similarly
Salt and pepper
1/2 cup fresh dill weed, chopped
10 large kalamata olives, sliced (optional)
Juice of 1 lemon
1 box De Cecco linguine
4 tablespoons sour cream
Lightly brown the garlic in the olive oil in a large skillet, on medium heat. Add the onion and red peppers, and sauté until soft. Add the zucchini and summer squash, and sauté until soft but not wilted. Salt and pepper to taste. Finally, add the dill, lemon juice and olives. Toss together and remove from heat. Toss the mixture with al dente linguine. Garnish with a dollop of sour cream.
Christopher Walken’s
New Delhi Salmon
(serves four)
1 1/2 pounds fresh salmon fillet, skin left on
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon sea salt
1 onion, chopped into 1/2-inch segments
1 jar Major Grey’s chutney
3 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1/2 cup fresh cilantro, chopped
Juice of 1 lemon
Preheat the broiler. With a sharp knife, cut the salmon fillet crosswise into four portions, but do not break the salmon skin. Rub about two tablespoons of olive oil on the scored piece of salmon and into its crevices, then rub in about a tablespoon of sea salt. Put aside. In a saucepan, lightly brown the onion slices. Pile the browned onion into a cookie sheet or Pyrex plate, forming a bed of onions with the approximate area as the salmon fillet. In a small mixing bowl, combine the chutney, garlic, cilantro and lemon juice. Massage this mixture onto the top of the salmon fillet, making sure that some sauce falls into the crevices. Then take the salmon fillet and slam it down on top of the onion bed, so that the skin is facing up and the sauce side is down. Place the pan close to the broiler and broil for about 20 minutes, or until the skin is burnt and the middle of the fillet is hot to the touch and dark pink. Remove the skin and serve from the pan, sauce-and onion-side down.
Source: New York Observer - September 18, 2000
Result of Quiz :: Which Supernatural Beastie Are You?
You scored as Vampire.
You are a vampire. Passion and seduction are your hunting campanions. Mystery surrounds you. And you REALLY need to get over yourself.
Vampire- 85%
Werewolf- 70%
Alien- 60%
Banshee- 45%
Zombie- 10%
Try a quiz for yourself at Quiz Farm.com
The Haunting of Borley Rectory
I remember reading about this when I was little (7-9) and it has always stayed in my mind,very interesting, I wish I could be a Ghost Hunter/Investigator that would I think be my Dream Job....-BLUEWOLFESS *)
Built in 1863 , Borley Rectory in the village of Borley , Essex , United Kingdom , has the reputation of being "the most haunted house in England . The house was destroyed by fire in 1939 , but the controversies that still swirl around it are still being argued.
History
Borley Rectory was constructed near Borley Church by its rector , the Reverend Henry Dawson Ellis Bull in 1863, a year after being named rector of the church. The building was a large brick home that replaced the much earlier Herringham Rectory. The home would eventually house his wife as well as fourteen children.
The church itself dates to the 12th century and the area received mention in the Doomsday Book as having a manor . Some sources also cite a Benedictine monastery supposedly built in this area around 1362 . According to myth , a monk from the monastery carried on a relationship with a nun from a nearby convent . After their affair was discovered, the monk was executed while the nun was bricked up alive in the walls of the convent. This legend would not be the first to be told about this area.
Hauntings
The first known reports of paranormal events date to around 1885 . At this time, a few locals reported seeing the ghost of a nun near the house as well as witnessing activity that would later be catagorized as a possible poltergeist . Various people would witness a variety of incidents through the next four decades.
In 1927 , the Bulls moved from the rectory and the next year the Reverend Guy Eric Smith and his wife moved into the home. The family would report a variety of poltergeist-like incidents including the sounds of bells ringing, items disappearing, and lights turning off and on. In addition, there was also a sighting of a horse-drawn carriage . The Smiths, tired of dealing with such activity, contacted the Daily Mirror seeking help. The paper sent a reporter who promptly wrote the first article detailing the mysteries of Borley. On June 12 of that year, Harry Price , a paranormal researcher, made his first visit to the place that would ultimately make his name famous.
Finally driven from their home by the restless spirits, the Smiths left Borley in 1930 and the Reverend Lionel Foyster and his wife Marianne moved into the rectory with their daughter Adelaide. Harry Price continued to investigate the incidents within the rectory and he estimated that between the Foyster's moving in October of 1930 and October of 1935 that some two-thousand incidents took place there.
The Foysters left Borley as a result of Lionel's ill health and Price continued over the next few years to study the empty house. On February 27 , 1939 , the house was destroyed by fire. According to witnesses, ghosts were seen flitting about inside the burning house. The ruins were razed in 1944 .
Since the destruction of the rectory, the events there have been investiaged and argued from various angles. After Harry Price's death in 1951 , a team of researches would investigate his claims about Borley and report that the case was "a house of cards built by Harry Price out out of a little more than a pack of lies." Interestingly, reports of paranormal activity still comes out of the area including the Borley Church.
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