OMG too fracking funny...
175 TYPES OF GOTHs
Punkgoth--the original flava!
Mopeygoth--fuck off and die (reading Baudelaire in a coffeehaus)
Perkygoth--would rather live with flopsey and bouncy than mopey
Poseygoth--the offshoot of the partime punk
Bittergoth--one level below mopeygoth
Crankygoth--primarily focused in female goths once per month
Perkygoth Supreme--Edvamp _used_ to be one
Poseurgoth/Visigoth/Miligoth--...if you have to ask...
Vampygoth--subscribes to alt.gothic and alt.vampyres
Crustygoth--those over 40, if they still have hippy tendencies
Mustygoth--those who have been dead a short while
Dustygoth--those who have been dead a very long time
Industragoth--likes both goth and industrial music
Perkydomgoth--a happy dominatrix
Perkysubgoth--happy that _they're_ not in control
Perkyswitchgoth--just happy, no matter who is in control
Mommygoth/Daddygoth--reserved for those with offspring
Polygoth--those with polygamous preferences/desires
Bubblegoth--those who chew gum and blow bubbles at clubs
Kittygoth--those who own Hello Kitty _everything_
Keropigoth--those who own Keropi _everything_
Badtzgoth--those who own Badtz Maru _everything_
Burritogoth--those who have experienced Tortillas
Androgagoth--those who have perfected that androgynous look
Crowgoth--those who think they are Brandon Lee
Monogoth--monogamous relationships only!
Fuzzygoth--those with facial hair or _very_ hairy backs
Arachnogoth--those that have a spider fetish and/or own tarantulas
Necrogoth--those obsessed with death, or sex with the dead
Ultragoth--they know who they are, and we could care less
UltraMegagoth--those born on Halloween or Friday the 13th
Lumigoth--if it glows in the dark, they own it
Manlygoth--reserved especially for Al Golagia and other "men"
Geekygoth--those who have achieved the delicate balance of geekdom and gothdom
Oi!goth--often combined with punkgoth (don't fight with these ones)
Aussiegoth/Austragoth--our friends from down under
Nerdigoth--those that try to be geekygoth, but don't quite pull it off
Fingoth--reserved exclusively for Desmodus
Fossilgoth--those born 100+ years too early
Sistergoth--devote followers of the Sisters of Mercy
Studygoth--those enrolled at a form of higher/continued education
Taxigoth--those who possess full-time jobs and help feed Uncle Sam
Spraygoth--one who fells the need to spray alt.gothic periodically
Flamegoth--one who enjoys the art of flaming
Inkygoth--those with 2+ tattoos
Blinkygoth--own those blinking red eyed bat keychains
Pezgoth--own _both_ the skeleton and witch Pez(tm) dispensor
Purrygoth--those who like cats more than people
Newbiegoth--just goth the courage to begin posting and/or clubbing
Belagoth--those who aspire to Lugosi's attributes
Panicgoth--regular consumers of Manic Panic(tm) products
Fangygoth--those with professional fangs made
Bondagoth--enjoys bondage (giving or receiving)
Boxgoth--own one or more lunchboxes to carry personal effects
Petalgoth--obsessed with drying roses, black roses, or eating roses
Babygoth/Childgoth--offspring of goths
Fairygoth--those that are godmother/mother to #64
Gangstagoth--boiz/grlz chillin in da hood
Noodlegoth--those on the ramen/maccaroni/spaghetti/pasta budget
Fishygoth--wear fishnet on _any_ part of their body
Aquagoth--their only nourishment is in the form of liquids
Orthogoth--wear braces, retainers, ect...
LittleMinigoth/stumpygoth--those under 5'1"
Shygoth--prone to staring and hiding behind/under people/things at clubs
Murkeygoth--goes mopey/perky/mopey/perky (repeat), similar to manicgoth
Spineygoth--has hedgehogs in their sig or porcupine/hedgehog fetish
Quantumgoth--ask Sexbat ^..^ ,he will tell you
Semigoth--haven't committed 100% to gothdom (part-time goth)
Redgoth--community over ego goth, AKA commiegoth
Stonergoth--ingests/grows/produces illegal substances for the mind/body
Gungoth--watch out for them and their alt.gothic.guns.guns.guns!!!
Crimpygoth--crimped hair nightmare
Spikeygoth--spiked hair, spiked jacket, and/or spiked collar
Chiroptogoth--bat lovers or anything to do with bats
Netgoth--isn't everyone who reads this?
Jellogoth--serves oh-so-difficult custom creations to honored guests
Metagoth--sorry, lost the definition... (help?)
Betagoth--still trying to get out of test mode for final release
Wankergoth--thinks they are the 1st to denounce goth this/that
Barbigoth--collects Barbies & dresses them up like goths (Ken/Skipper too)
Duckiegoth--brings a rubber duckie to clubs and shows
Miscgoth/Calicogoth/Muttgoth--a miscellaneous smattering of all types
Comigoth--reads/collects comic books
Sandygoth--obsessed with Sandman or loves the beach
Winniegoth--Winnie the Pooh/A.A. Milne fans. say "Oh Bother!" a lot
Swampgoth--into Swamp subgenres (Nick Cave, Cramps, ect...)
Behemothgoth--600+ pounds goth
Oldschoolgoth--don't like anything after Bauhaus broke up
Newschoolgoth--don't like anything before Bauhaus broke up
Amerigoth--into only USA goth bands, or are from the USA
Britgoth--into only UK goth bands, or are from the UK
Slothgoth--veeerrryyy veeerrryyy sllloooww goth
Brothgoth--like soup or can only afford a soup diet
Moshgoth--those into pits (willingly that is)
Pogogoth--jump up and down, don't mosh (usually a perkygoth as well)
Robogoth/Bionicgoth--those who are androids or have false limbs
Dixiegoth--from the south... y'all
Yankeegoth--from the north... yous guys
Weekendgoth--goth on weekends only
Coughgoth--goffs wif a cold *sniff*
Htoggoth--dyslexic goths (also palindromic goths)
Mothgoth--goths after the larvel stage
Archigoth--one who archives alt.gothic articles, ect...
Billygoth--one who likes rockabilly
Ambigoth--thinks that Brian Eno's _Discreet_Music_ is too noisy and agitated, usually a lover of 4AD/Projekt bands
Canagoth--from the Big Maple Leaf place
Cyclogoth--lover of moterbike/bicycles/unicycles
Whitbygoth--ask Jane Shaw, she'll tell you!
Topgoth--Whitby Gothic Festival badge wearer and damn proud!
Holygoth--devout religious goths
Pagangoth--followers of their own religion, or lack thereof
Grumpygoth--is related to Sneezy, Happy, Sleepy, ect...
Docgoth--devout wearer of Doc Martens (any kind)
Armagoth--has purchased records at Armageddon, or loves armadillos
Texgoth--duh! they're from Texas
Notagoth--one who insists on claiming that they're "not a goth!"
Negativegoth--wearer of white garb
Modgoth--goths with scooters (old European ones, not Hondas)
Converjagoth--has/will atten/ed a/an Convergence
Frothgoth--infuriated flamer who falls for every troll on alt.gothic
Crunchygoth--maitians a bat house, grows own wormood, brings spiders into house
Juvigoth--thoose under the tender age of 18, but older than 12
Glittergoth--puts glitter everywhere! especially body, usually also Perkygoth
Nephgoth--those who think Fields of the Nephilium are the definitive gothic band
Sologoth--goths living in un-gothic places looking for a scene to inhabit
Ophidigoth--ones fond of, in possesion of, with the name of a legless reptile
Chaosgoth--thrive of causing and/or being in chaotic/stressful/hectic environments (can also be a fractal freak)
Peppygoth--has lifetime perscription of Prozac (drug induced Perkygoth)
Maudlingoth--wishes had a lifetime percription to Prozac
Theragoth--dependant/functional upon therapy or forced into therapy without warning
Sedagoth--must be/enjoys being repressed/restrained through chemical methods
RenFairgoths--those determined to wear marginally historical clothes from the 16th-18th centuries, including chain mail, soft leather boots, and/or wunder-Corsets. Usually they are also a...
Celtogoth--obsessed with the wailing female voices, harps and all thing Irish, including Harp ale. Especially into matriarchal Celtic mysticism a la Robert Graves, as well as Irish poets. Often in the same circles with...
Gypsygoth--tons of dangly jewelry, often some of it crossing the cheek or forehead under a tassled wrapped scarf. Conduct seances to old Dead Can Dance albums.
MerchantIvorygoth--of the dandy variety, inspired 19th-century achingly romantic drmas by the film company Merchant Ivory (often staring Julian Sands and what's-her-name from Room With a View)
ClubKidgoth--wear the same shiney, glittery platforms to raves and goth clubs
Promgoth--dyed thier prom dress/suit black
NewWavegoth--fierce, pre-categorized goth/new-wave/punky look a la Anne Magnuen in The Hunger
Instagoth--one day they aren't, the next they are(similar to posergoth)
MyLittlePonygoth--thoose with multi-color hair extensions
CromeDomegoth/Baldigoth/Curlygoth--those without hair, intensionally or otherwise
GrungiGoth--Black plaid and Kurt Cobain, need it be defined more?
RavenGoth--Common affliction among NetGoths who have 'Raven' in their handle
QuartzGoth--into crystal/mineral energy, often found wearing small quartz necklaces
LARPGoth--Mistaken for a Goth as they Live Action Role Play, often have BelaGoth syndrome
Germanogoth--Jackboot wearer, & knows how to use them; can be depressed in 2 languages
Ratgoth--Possesses 3+ of the species Rattus Norvegicus/Rattus Rattus, often used as fashion aides
Disneygoth--collector of disneyware, wears black gloves & Mickey Mouse ears to clubs
Godzillagoth--lover of large paper mache monsters (et al)in cheesey horror movies
Bridalgoth--those who take thrift store wedding dresses, "make them goth" & wear them to clubs
Chigoth--those living in the general Chicagoland area (includes IN and WI areas)
Labelgoth--wear only the newest in goth fashion from label such as Begotten, Lip Service, Cyxtees, Eternal, Fun House, ect...
Depechegoth--own every single DepecheMODE album and single, for more info ask DJ Phoenix.
Casualgoth--always wearing all black, but never look completely ready to go out.
Curegoth--do NOT believe Robert Smith when he says that the cure isn't Goth.
Colorgoth--wear color, such as burgundy, purple, red and/or blue, more often than the typical all black attire
Morrisseygoth--"I wear black on the outside, 'cause black is how I feel on then inside." often also Vegigoths, Mopeygoth and Bigoth or Homogoth
Valleygoth--"like, oh my goth"
Siouxsiegoth--jeeper creepers, where'd you get those peepers
Covergoth--One who feels they cannot go out in public unless their face is completely covered in Black and/or White grease paint.. (sometimes resembling a scary circus clown, also connected to "Instagoths")
Transgoth--Goths who crossdress into anothers gender.