"Well met and well come to the court of Blue Couch, capital and seat of power for all of Living Room. The protocols are as they have always been, fair pilgrim: There will be no sipping of precarious liquids. There will be no hogging of blankets. There will be no licking of hineys. And above all, this court will brook no blasphemy. We need hardly mention that transgressions will be swiftly dealt with. We've got eyebeams and by golly we'll use them if we have to.
Offerings of the chewy fish and crunchy peanut variety will, of course, be graciously accepted.
You may now rise."