10/18/2006

How to tell where they're from by how they drive

* One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago

* One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New
York

* One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot
solidly on accelerator:
Boston

* One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick
on accelerator:
California.

* One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick
on accelerator, gun in
lap: Los Angeles

* Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on
brake, quivering in terror:
Ohio, but driving in California.

* Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on
accelerator, head turned to
talk to someone in back seat: Italy

* One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling
cell phone, foot on brake,
mind on game: Seattle

* One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle,
alternating between both
feet being on the accelerator and both on the
brake, throwing a McDonalds
bag out the window: Texas city male

* One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the
window, keeping speed steadily
at 70mph, driving down the center of the road
unless coming around a blind
curve, in which case they are on the left side
of the road: Texas country male

* One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view
mirror to show different
angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between
mousse, brush, and rat-tail
to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on the
accelerator, poodle steering
the car***
, chrome .38 revolver with mother of pearl inlaid handle
in the glove compartment: Texas female*** Coal is an excellent driver, he sits on Bianca's back and Prish works the brake and gas...

* Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia

* Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level, driving 35 on the interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: Florida"

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