"Morons or Oxymoron's???

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the
second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how
would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where
did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What
is a whack?
6. Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same
thing?
7. Why do 'fat chance' and 'slim chance' mean the
same thing?
8. Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game'
when we are already there?
10. Why are they called 'stands' when they are
made for sitting?
11. Why is it called 'after dark' when it really
is 'after light'?
12. Doesn't 'expecting the unexpected' make the
unexpected expected?
13. Why are a 'wise man' and a 'wise guy'
opposites?
14. Why do 'overlook' and 'oversee' mean opposite
things?
15. Why is 'phonics' not spelled the way it
sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to
pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the
audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can
you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a
remote control
when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and
garments in
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?25. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?26. Christmas oxymoron: What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks? "