Colonoscopy Humor

[A physician claims these are actual comments
from his
patients made while he was performing
colonoscopies.]

• 1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where
  no man has
  gone before."
  
  2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
  
  3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
  
  4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"
  
  5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we
  there yet?"
  
  6. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally
  married."
  
  7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
  
  8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left
  hand out.
  You do the Hokey Pokey...."
  
  9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
  
  10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"
  
  11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my
  dignity."
  
  12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't
  you?"
  
  13. "Could you write me a note for my wife,
  saying that my
  head is not, in fact, up there?"