Subject: How to kill time at Walmart

15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your
spouse/partner is taking
their sweet time:

1 Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them
in people's carts
when they aren't looking.
2 Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go
off at 5-minute intervals.
3 Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor
leading to the rest rooms.
4 Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an
official tone, 'Code 3'
in housewares..... and see what happens.
5 Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of
M&M's on lay away.
6 Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted
area.
7 Set up a tent in the camping department and
tell other shoppers you'll
invite them in if they'll bring pillows from
the bedding department.
8 When a clerk ask s if they can help you, begin
to cry and ask 'Why
can't you people just leave me alone?'
9 Look right into the security camera; use it as
a mirror, and
pick your nose.
10 While handling guns in the hunting department,
ask the clerk if he
knows where the anti-depressants are.
11 Dart around the store suspiciously loudly
humming the "Mission
Impossible" theme.
12 In the auto department, practice your "Madonna
look" using different
size funnels.
13 Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse
through, say
"PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14 When an announcement comes over the loud
speaker, assume the fetal
position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices
again!"

(And last but not least!)

15 Go into a fitting room and shut the door and
wait a while; and, then,
yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper
in here!"