There is no death, only a change of worlds.
--Native American Proverb"
12/28/2006
12/23/2006
Fact
There is one Christmas Carol that has always baffled me.
What in the worlddo leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially the partridgewho won't come out of the pear tree have to do with Christmas?
From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted topractice their faith openly.
Someone during that era wrote this carol asa catechism song for young Catholics.
It has two levels of meaning: thesurface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church.
Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality
which the children could remember.
* The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.
* Two turtledoves were the Old and New Testaments.
* Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love
.* The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.
* The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.
* The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation
.* Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit: Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.
* The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes
* Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.
* The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.
* The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples
.* The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.
What in the worlddo leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially the partridgewho won't come out of the pear tree have to do with Christmas?
From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted topractice their faith openly.
Someone during that era wrote this carol asa catechism song for young Catholics.
It has two levels of meaning: thesurface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church.
Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality
which the children could remember.
* The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.
* Two turtledoves were the Old and New Testaments.
* Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love
.* The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.
* The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.
* The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation
.* Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit: Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.
* The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes
* Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.
* The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.
* The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples
.* The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.
12/22/2006
Christmas in Australia - Six White Boomers by Rolf Harris
Firstly the introductory narrative.
Early on one Christmas Day a Joey kangaroo,
Was far from home and lost in a great big zoo.
'Mummy, where's my mummy? They've taken her away.'
We'll help you find your mummy, son. Hop up on the sleigh.'
The song commences here.
Up beside the bag of toys little Joey hopped,
But they hadn't gone far when Santa stopped.
Unharnessed all the reindeer and Joey wondered why,
Then he heard a far off booming in the sky.
Six white boomers, snow white boomers,
Racing Santa Claus through the blazing sun.
Six white boomers, snow white boomers,
On his Australian run.
Pretty soon old Santa began to feel the heat,
Took his fur lined boots off to cool his feet,
Into one popped Joey, feeling quite okay,
While those old man Kangaroos kept pulling on the sleigh.
Six white boomers, snow white boomers,
Racing Santa Claus through the blazing sun.
Six white boomers, snow white boomers,
On his Australian run.
Joey said to Santa, 'Santa, what about the toys?
Aren't you giving some to these girls and boys?'
'They've got all their presents, son, we were here last night,
this trip is an extra trip, Joey's special flight.'
Six white boomers, snow white boomers,
Racing Santa Claus through the blazing sun.
Six white boomers, snow white boomers,
On his Australian run.
Soon the sleigh was flashing past right over Marble Bar,
'Slow down there,' cried Santa, 'it can't be far,
Come up on my lap here, son, and have a look around.'
'There she is, that's Mummy, bounding up and down.'
Six white boomers, snow white boomers,
Racing Santa Claus through the blazing sun.
Six white boomers, snow white boomers,
On his Australian run.
Well that's the bestest Christmas treat that Joey ever had,
Curled up in mother's pouch feeling snug and glad.
The last they saw was Santa heading northwards from the sun,
The only year the boomers worked a double run.
Six white boomers, snow white boomers,
Racing Santa Claus through the blazing sun.
Six white boomers, snow white boomers,
On his Australian run.
This song was written in Perth, Western Australia, in 1960.
Rolf Harris was working at a television station with an American named John D. Brown and, thinking it was crazy to be singing Christmas songs about snow and ice when the temperature was around 100 degrees Fahrenheit (40C), they wrote this song. (Harrison - Brown) Ardmore & Beechwood Ltd / EMI (P) 1965. Arranged by Johnnie Spence - Produced by George Martin.
Early on one Christmas Day a Joey kangaroo,
Was far from home and lost in a great big zoo.
'Mummy, where's my mummy? They've taken her away.'
We'll help you find your mummy, son. Hop up on the sleigh.'
The song commences here.
Up beside the bag of toys little Joey hopped,
But they hadn't gone far when Santa stopped.
Unharnessed all the reindeer and Joey wondered why,
Then he heard a far off booming in the sky.
Six white boomers, snow white boomers,
Racing Santa Claus through the blazing sun.
Six white boomers, snow white boomers,
On his Australian run.
Pretty soon old Santa began to feel the heat,
Took his fur lined boots off to cool his feet,
Into one popped Joey, feeling quite okay,
While those old man Kangaroos kept pulling on the sleigh.
Six white boomers, snow white boomers,
Racing Santa Claus through the blazing sun.
Six white boomers, snow white boomers,
On his Australian run.
Joey said to Santa, 'Santa, what about the toys?
Aren't you giving some to these girls and boys?'
'They've got all their presents, son, we were here last night,
this trip is an extra trip, Joey's special flight.'
Six white boomers, snow white boomers,
Racing Santa Claus through the blazing sun.
Six white boomers, snow white boomers,
On his Australian run.
Soon the sleigh was flashing past right over Marble Bar,
'Slow down there,' cried Santa, 'it can't be far,
Come up on my lap here, son, and have a look around.'
'There she is, that's Mummy, bounding up and down.'
Six white boomers, snow white boomers,
Racing Santa Claus through the blazing sun.
Six white boomers, snow white boomers,
On his Australian run.
Well that's the bestest Christmas treat that Joey ever had,
Curled up in mother's pouch feeling snug and glad.
The last they saw was Santa heading northwards from the sun,
The only year the boomers worked a double run.
Six white boomers, snow white boomers,
Racing Santa Claus through the blazing sun.
Six white boomers, snow white boomers,
On his Australian run.
This song was written in Perth, Western Australia, in 1960.
Rolf Harris was working at a television station with an American named John D. Brown and, thinking it was crazy to be singing Christmas songs about snow and ice when the temperature was around 100 degrees Fahrenheit (40C), they wrote this song. (Harrison - Brown) Ardmore & Beechwood Ltd / EMI (P) 1965. Arranged by Johnnie Spence - Produced by George Martin.
Hangover Helper: 17 Cures for the Big Head Blues at Daily Dish at Epicurious.com
YOU KNOW JUST IN CASE,
.................NOT SAYING YOU DRINK TOO MUCH,
JUST....
WELL..
HEY IT'S CHRISTMAS:)
NOG ALL AROUND:).... SLURP....
.................NOT SAYING YOU DRINK TOO MUCH,
JUST....
WELL..
HEY IT'S CHRISTMAS:)
NOG ALL AROUND:).... SLURP....
12/21/2006
12/20/2006
Virgin dragon prepares to give birth - Yahoo! News
seemed appropiate at this time of year, read the story... interesting...
12/19/2006
12/17/2006
Dear Santa,
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my own doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, I'm writing this letter with my daughter's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find free time in the next 18 years.
Here are my Christmas wishes:I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have, thank you very much) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.
If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper, for a good stiff drink and an underground bathroom where I can hide to talk on the phone.
On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.
I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting, "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your sister," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.
If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a styrofoam container.
If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.
Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is going off and my daughter saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think she wants her crayon back.
Have a safe trip, remember, leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.
Love Always,MOM
P.S.
One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to always believe in Santa!
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my own doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, I'm writing this letter with my daughter's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find free time in the next 18 years.
Here are my Christmas wishes:I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have, thank you very much) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.
If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper, for a good stiff drink and an underground bathroom where I can hide to talk on the phone.
On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.
I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting, "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your sister," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.
If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a styrofoam container.
If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.
Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is going off and my daughter saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think she wants her crayon back.
Have a safe trip, remember, leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.
Love Always,MOM
P.S.
One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to always believe in Santa!
12/15/2006
Nev. politician: Let teachers carry guns - Yahoo! News
This is not a bad thing , it is good, I would feel better knowing the teacher knows how to shoot and defend if ness....sad ,times have come to this, But we don't have to deal with this type of thing in our school system ...yet.
12/14/2006
Video games: Nightmares before Christmas - Yahoo! News
worth a look if you are into that kind of stuff...
'Raymond' dad Peter Boyle dies in NYC - Yahoo! News
ah that is sad, he was a good actor,
he had a good career, young frankenstein, classic...
rest in peace dude...
he had a good career, young frankenstein, classic...
rest in peace dude...
Wisconsin hunter bags deer with 7 legs - Yahoo! News
ok this is becoming all to common, freaks of nature I mean...poor thing...
12/13/2006
Keep off the streets, British prostitutes urged
wow, this is not good, and the similarities are kinda creepy , I mean 2 of the victim's last name are variations of Nicholl, weird...makes you wonder...
I don't really think they ever will know, seems to be some sort of odd cycle...
I don't really think they ever will know, seems to be some sort of odd cycle...
Marians of the Immaculate Conception
sort of cool, I'm not Catholic, but it seems the most accepted form of Goddess worship in this day and age.
12/12/2006
FOX Broadcasting Company: House
My Favourite Dr. :)
Hugh Totally Rocks, I wish I had a Doctor for real like him,
I know I would be fixed:) numerous ailment some real some not :)
:::sways over to the couch and "Faints"::::
- the wee one already knows to run for Mother's smelling salts, and a cold cloth for her head.......:)
(I am so totally kidding, I have no time to be sick)
Hugh Totally Rocks, I wish I had a Doctor for real like him,
I know I would be fixed:) numerous ailment some real some not :)
:::sways over to the couch and "Faints"::::
- the wee one already knows to run for Mother's smelling salts, and a cold cloth for her head.......:)
(I am so totally kidding, I have no time to be sick)
12/10/2006
12/09/2006
12/08/2006
12/07/2006
funny
The insurance firm put a sign in the window saying,"HELP WANTED. You must be a good typist and have good computer skills. Successful applicant must be bilingual We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time later a lovely Golden Retriever dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside.
He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it,whined and pawed the air.The receptionist called the office manager.
He was surprised to say the least to see a canine applicant. However, the dog looked determined so he led him into the office.
Inside, the dog jumped up on a chair and stared at the manager expectantly.
The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you must be able to type.
"The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to quickly type a perfect business letter. He took out the page with his mouth and trotted over to the manager, gave it to him, then jumped back up on the chair wagging his tail.
The manager was stunned, but told the dog, "That was fantastic, but I'm sorry. The sign clearly says that whomever I hire must have computer skills."
The dog jumped down again, went to the computer and proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs. He produced a sample Excel spreadsheet, a sample Power Point presentation, retouched a picture with Photoshop, and then printed all of them for the manager.The manager was dumbfounded.
He said to the dog, "Listen, I realize that you are a very intelligent applicant and have fantastic talent, but you're a dog! There's no way I can hire you!"The dog jumped down and went to the sign in the window and pointed his paw at the words, "Equal Opportunity Employer."
The exasperated manager said, "Yes, I know what the sign says. But the sign also says you have to be bilingual!"The dog looked him straight in the eye ,
And said, "Meow!"
A short time later a lovely Golden Retriever dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside.
He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it,whined and pawed the air.The receptionist called the office manager.
He was surprised to say the least to see a canine applicant. However, the dog looked determined so he led him into the office.
Inside, the dog jumped up on a chair and stared at the manager expectantly.
The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you must be able to type.
"The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to quickly type a perfect business letter. He took out the page with his mouth and trotted over to the manager, gave it to him, then jumped back up on the chair wagging his tail.
The manager was stunned, but told the dog, "That was fantastic, but I'm sorry. The sign clearly says that whomever I hire must have computer skills."
The dog jumped down again, went to the computer and proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs. He produced a sample Excel spreadsheet, a sample Power Point presentation, retouched a picture with Photoshop, and then printed all of them for the manager.The manager was dumbfounded.
He said to the dog, "Listen, I realize that you are a very intelligent applicant and have fantastic talent, but you're a dog! There's no way I can hire you!"The dog jumped down and went to the sign in the window and pointed his paw at the words, "Equal Opportunity Employer."
The exasperated manager said, "Yes, I know what the sign says. But the sign also says you have to be bilingual!"The dog looked him straight in the eye ,
And said, "Meow!"
From Aunt Deena
Christmas Shopping
A woman was Christmas shopping with her two children. After many hours of walking down row after row of toys and after hours of hearing both her children asking for everything they saw on those many shelves, she finally made it to the store elevator with her two children in hand.
She was feeling what so many of us feel during the holiday season time of the year, getting that perfect gift for every single person on our shopping list, overwhelming pressure to go to every party, every housewarming, taste all the holiday food and treats, making sure we don't forget anyone on our card list, and the pressure of making sure we respond to everyone who sent us a card.Finally the elevator doors opened revealing a crowd in the car.
She pushed her way in and dragged her two kids and all her bags of stuff in with her.As the doors closed she couldn't take it anymore and blurted out, "Whoever started this whole Christmas thing should be found, strung up, and shot.
"From the back of the car, a quiet calm voice responded, "Don't worry, we've already crucified Him."
The rest of the trip down was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.
Don't forget this year to keep the One who started this whole Christmas thing in your every thought, deed, purchase, and word.
If we all would, just think how much better this world would be
.Jesus is the reason for the season. Wise men still seek Him..
12/06/2006
yum
"Italian Angelette Cookies
Yields: About 4 dozen cookies
Cook Time: 20 minutes per batch
Total Time: 1 hour plus cooling
INGREDIENTS:
1 cup granulated sugar
4 tablespoons margarine or butter, softened
6 large eggs
1/2 teaspoon vanilla or lemon extract
4 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups confectioners' sugar
1/2 cup colored candy décors
DIRECTIONS:
1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.
Grease large cookie sheet.
2. In large bowl, with mixer at low speed, beat granulated sugar and margarine or butter until blended.
Increase speed to high, beat 2 minutes, occasionally scraping bowl with rubber spatula.
At low speed, beat in eggs, 1 at a time, beat in vanilla or lemon extract until mixed. Beat in flour, baking powder, and salt just until blended.
3. With heavily floured hands, shape dough into 1 1/2-inch balls.
Place balls, 2 inches apart, on cookie sheet.
Bake cookies 20 minutes or until lightly browned.
Transfer cookies to wire rack to cool.
Repeat with remaining dough.
4. When cookies are cool, in small bowl, whisk confectioners' sugar and 3 tablespoons plus 1 1/2 teaspoons water until blended. Dip top of each cooled cookie into glaze. (Whisk more water into glaze if it becomes too thick.) Place cookies on wire rack set over waxed paper to catch any drips. Sprinkle with candy décors. Allow glaze to set, about 20 minutes.
Store cookies in tightly covered container, with waxed paper between layers, up to 2 weeks.
Each cookie: About 95 calories, 2 g protein, 18 g carbohydrate, 2 g total fat (0 g saturated), 0 g fiber, 27 mg cholesterol, 65 mg sodi"
Yields: About 4 dozen cookies
Cook Time: 20 minutes per batch
Total Time: 1 hour plus cooling
INGREDIENTS:
1 cup granulated sugar
4 tablespoons margarine or butter, softened
6 large eggs
1/2 teaspoon vanilla or lemon extract
4 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups confectioners' sugar
1/2 cup colored candy décors
DIRECTIONS:
1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.
Grease large cookie sheet.
2. In large bowl, with mixer at low speed, beat granulated sugar and margarine or butter until blended.
Increase speed to high, beat 2 minutes, occasionally scraping bowl with rubber spatula.
At low speed, beat in eggs, 1 at a time, beat in vanilla or lemon extract until mixed. Beat in flour, baking powder, and salt just until blended.
3. With heavily floured hands, shape dough into 1 1/2-inch balls.
Place balls, 2 inches apart, on cookie sheet.
Bake cookies 20 minutes or until lightly browned.
Transfer cookies to wire rack to cool.
Repeat with remaining dough.
4. When cookies are cool, in small bowl, whisk confectioners' sugar and 3 tablespoons plus 1 1/2 teaspoons water until blended. Dip top of each cooled cookie into glaze. (Whisk more water into glaze if it becomes too thick.) Place cookies on wire rack set over waxed paper to catch any drips. Sprinkle with candy décors. Allow glaze to set, about 20 minutes.
Store cookies in tightly covered container, with waxed paper between layers, up to 2 weeks.
Each cookie: About 95 calories, 2 g protein, 18 g carbohydrate, 2 g total fat (0 g saturated), 0 g fiber, 27 mg cholesterol, 65 mg sodi"
12/05/2006
Chicken Kabobs in a Middle Eastern Marinade Recipe
Posted by: 'Margaret Ball
*Ingredients*
4 cloves garlic
1 small onion, chopped
1 tablespoon paprika
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon turmeric
1/2 teaspoon cardamom
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/4 cup lemon juice
1 cup plain yogurt
18 boneless, skinless chicken thighs or 12 boneless, skinless breasts, cut
in 1-inch cubes
olive oil, as needed
salt to taste
chopped Italian parsley
lemon wedges
18 bamboo (soaked in water) or metal skewers
*Cooking Instructions*
1. Puree the garlic, onion, spices, lemon juice and yogurt in the container
of a blender or food
processor.
2. Place the chicken in a non-aluminum container and cover with the
marinade. Turn well to coat evenly. Cover and refrigerate for at least 4
hours and up to 12 hours.
3. Preheat the broiler or make a charcoal fire.
4. Thread the chicken on skewers, brush with a little oil and sprinkle with
salt and pepper. Cook about 4 to 5 minutes per side for thigh meat, 3 to 4
minutes per side for breast meat. Sprinkle with parsley and serve with lemon
wedges.
*Nutrition Facts*
Serving size: 1 kabob
Calories 96
Total Fat 3 g
Saturated Fat 0 g
Protein 14 g
Posted by: 'Margaret Ball
*Ingredients*
4 cloves garlic
1 small onion, chopped
1 tablespoon paprika
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon turmeric
1/2 teaspoon cardamom
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/4 cup lemon juice
1 cup plain yogurt
18 boneless, skinless chicken thighs or 12 boneless, skinless breasts, cut
in 1-inch cubes
olive oil, as needed
salt to taste
chopped Italian parsley
lemon wedges
18 bamboo (soaked in water) or metal skewers
*Cooking Instructions*
1. Puree the garlic, onion, spices, lemon juice and yogurt in the container
of a blender or food
processor
2. Place the chicken in a non-aluminum container and cover with the
marinade. Turn well to coat evenly. Cover and refrigerate for at least 4
hours and up to 12 hours.
3. Preheat the broiler or make a charcoal fire.
4. Thread the chicken on skewers, brush with a little oil and sprinkle with
salt and pepper. Cook about 4 to 5 minutes per side for thigh meat, 3 to 4
minutes per side for breast meat. Sprinkle with parsley and serve with lemon
wedges.
*Nutrition Facts*
Serving size: 1 kabob
Calories 96
Total Fat 3 g
Saturated Fat 0 g
Protein 14 g
12/04/2006
Scientist: Humans Strange, Neanderthals Normal
By Charles Q. ChoiSpecial to LiveScienceposted: 08 September 200612:05 pm ET
Neanderthals are often thought of as the stray branch in the human family tree, but research now suggests the modern human is likely the odd man out.
"What people tend to do is draw a line from our ancestors straight to ourselves, and any group that doesn't seem to fit on that line is divergent, distinct, unusual, strange," researcher Erik Trinkaus, an anthropologist at Washington University in St. Louis, told LiveScience today. "But in terms of evolution of our family tree, the genus Homo, we're the outliers and the Neanderthals are more toward the core."
Humans are not at the inevitable end of a sequence, Trinkaus said. "It just happens that we happen to be alive today and Neanderthals are not."
Trinkaus spent decades examining fossil skeletons and over time realized that maybe researchers looked at Neanderthals the wrong way. Over the last two years, he systematically combed through fossils, comparing Neanderthal and modern human skull, jaw, tooth, arm, leg traits with those of the earliest members of the genus Homo in terms of their shape.
"I wanted to see to what extent Neanderthals are derived, that is distinct, from the ancestral form. I also wanted to see the extent to which modern humans are derived relative to the ancestral form," Trinkaus said.
Trinkaus focused on skeletal features that seemed most strongly linked to genetics, as opposed to any traits that might get influenced by lifestyle, environment or wear and tear.
When compared with our common ancestors, Trinkaus discovered modern humans have roughly twice as many uniquely distinct traits as Neanderthals. In other words, Neanderthals are more like the other members of our family tree than modern humans are.
"In the broader sweep of human evolution, the more unusual group is not Neanderthals, whom we tend to look at as strange, weird and unusual, but it's us, modern humans," Trinkaus said.
Modern humans, for example, are the only members of our family tree who lack brow ridges, Trinkaus said. "We are the only ones who have seriously shortened faces. We are the only ones with very reduced internal nasal cavities. We also have a number of detailed features of the limb skeleton that are unique."
Trinkaus published his findings in the August 2006 issue of the journal Current Anthropology.
Top 10 Missing Links
Scientists Build 'Frankenstein' Neanderthal Skeleton
Neanderthals and Humans: Perhaps They Never Met
Peace or War? How Early Humans Behaved
Timeline of Human Evolution
Been saying this all along, I'm ready...
Humans must colonize other planets?
Fri Dec 1, 8:41 AM ET
Humans must colonize planets in other solar systems traveling there using "Star Trek"-style propulsion or face extinction, renowned British cosmologist Stephen Hawking said Thursday.
Referring to complex theories and the speed of light, Hawking, the wheel-chair bound Cambridge University physicist, told BBC radio that theoretical advances could revolutionize the velocity of space travel and make such colonies possible.
"Sooner or later disasters such as an asteroid collision or a nuclear war could wipe us all out," said Professor Hawking, who was crippled by a muscle disease at the age of 21 and who speaks through a computerized voice synthesizer.
"But once we spread out into space and establish independent colonies, our future should be safe," said Hawking, who was due to receive the world's oldest award for scientific achievement, the Copley medal, from Britain's Royal Society Thursday.
Previous winners include Albert Einstein and Charles Darwin.
In order to survive, humanity would have to venture off to other hospitable planets orbiting another star, but conventional chemical fuel rockets that took man to the moon on the Apollo mission would take 50,000 years to travel there, he said.
Hawking, a 64-year-old father of three who rarely gives interviews and who wrote the best-selling "A Brief History of Time," suggested propulsion like that used by the fictional starship Enterprise "to boldly go where no man has gone before" could help solve the problem.
"Science fiction has developed the idea of warp drive, which takes you instantly to your destination," said.
"Unfortunately, this would violate the scientific law which says that nothing can travel faster than light."
However, by using "matter/antimatter annihilation," velocities just below the speed of light could be reached, making it possible to reach the next star in about six years.
"It wouldn't seem so long for those on board," he said.
The scientist revealed he also wanted to try out space travel himself, albeit by more conventional means.
"I am not afraid of death but I'm in no hurry to die. My next goal is to go into space," said Hawking.
And referring to the British entrepreneur and Virgin tycoon who has set up a travel agency to take private individuals on space flights from 2008, Hawking said: "Maybe Richard Branson will help me."
Not a New Art, but needed...thoughtful.
Coffin painter creates art for the afterlife
By Michaela RehleMon Dec 4, 9:46 AM ET
Coping with death is easier for the bereaved when you celebrate the beauty of life in a person's final resting place, according to a German painter who decorates coffins with flowers and other symbols of nature.
Alfred Opiolka, from Wertach in southern Germany, recently began adorning burial caskets with bright images of roses, marigolds and butterflies when he decided traditional coffins failed to fulfil all the emotional needs of parts of society.
"I see the painting almost as a kind of service to the community, even though I don't want to talk about it terms which sound too elevated," he said. "It makes me very happy that I can really move people by doing this work for them."
He hit upon the idea after being hired to paint a funeral home, a job which he said altered his perspective on death.
"I think the commission changed my life. I've thought about life and death differently since and have a new perspective," he said, noting that one of his greatest wishes was to be able to paint a church with the same natural motifs as his coffins.
Opiolka, who began painting the coffins about three months ago, has so far received just a handful of commissions.
But he said those alerted to his work (www.wandelmaler.de/) in recent media reports have responded very emotionally.
One tearful woman asked him to make a coffin with garden flowers for the day her 94-year-old mother passed away.
"She told me, 'The garden meant everything to my mother', and thought that the coffin was the best final farewell she could make to her mother when she departed," he said.
Opiolka said that although he knew brightly coloured coffins were used for burials, he was not aware of others who hand-painted the caskets in the way he does.
The 46-year-old, who was born in Poland but moved to Germany as a child, uses water-based paints for the coffins, which he makes from pinewood. They cost 1,500 euros ($1,986) and above.
Nevertheless, Opiolka said the coffin decoration was much more than just a means of making money, and stressed he was only interested in painting natural motifs which appeal to him.
"I was asked once what I'd do if someone wanted a Snickers coffin," he said. "I'm a tolerant person, and if it really matters to someone, they should get one. But others could do that. It's not something that would be right for me."
By Michaela RehleMon Dec 4, 9:46 AM ET
Coping with death is easier for the bereaved when you celebrate the beauty of life in a person's final resting place, according to a German painter who decorates coffins with flowers and other symbols of nature.
Alfred Opiolka, from Wertach in southern Germany, recently began adorning burial caskets with bright images of roses, marigolds and butterflies when he decided traditional coffins failed to fulfil all the emotional needs of parts of society.
"I see the painting almost as a kind of service to the community, even though I don't want to talk about it terms which sound too elevated," he said. "It makes me very happy that I can really move people by doing this work for them."
He hit upon the idea after being hired to paint a funeral home, a job which he said altered his perspective on death.
"I think the commission changed my life. I've thought about life and death differently since and have a new perspective," he said, noting that one of his greatest wishes was to be able to paint a church with the same natural motifs as his coffins.
Opiolka, who began painting the coffins about three months ago, has so far received just a handful of commissions.
But he said those alerted to his work (www.wandelmaler.de/) in recent media reports have responded very emotionally.
One tearful woman asked him to make a coffin with garden flowers for the day her 94-year-old mother passed away.
"She told me, 'The garden meant everything to my mother', and thought that the coffin was the best final farewell she could make to her mother when she departed," he said.
Opiolka said that although he knew brightly coloured coffins were used for burials, he was not aware of others who hand-painted the caskets in the way he does.
The 46-year-old, who was born in Poland but moved to Germany as a child, uses water-based paints for the coffins, which he makes from pinewood. They cost 1,500 euros ($1,986) and above.
Nevertheless, Opiolka said the coffin decoration was much more than just a means of making money, and stressed he was only interested in painting natural motifs which appeal to him.
"I was asked once what I'd do if someone wanted a Snickers coffin," he said. "I'm a tolerant person, and if it really matters to someone, they should get one. But others could do that. It's not something that would be right for me."
12/03/2006
Think about this and donate to your local shelter...
T'was The Night Before Christmas
( at the shelter )
'Tis the night before Christmas and all through the town,
every shelter is full ~ we are lost but not found.
Our numbers are hung on our kennels so bare,
we hope every minute that someone will care.
They'll come to adopt us and give us the call,
'come here, Max and Sparkie ~ come fetch your new ball!'
But now we just sit here and think of the days
we were treated so fondly ~ we had baby ways.
Once we were little, then we grew and we grew ~
now we're no longer young, and we're no longer new.
So out the back door we were thrown like trash,
they reacted so quickly ~ why were they so rash?
We 'jump on the children', 'don't come when they call',
we 'bark when they leave us', 'climb over the wall'.
We should have been neutered, we should have been spayed,
now we suffer the consequence of the error they made.
If only they'd trained us, if only we knew.....
we'd have done what they asked us and worshipped them, too.
We were left in the back yard, or worse ~ left to roam
now we're tired and lonely and out of a home.
They dropped us off here and they kissed us good-bye
'Maybe someone else will give you a try'.
So now here we are, all confused and alone
in a shelter with others who long for a home.
The kind workers come through with a meal and a pat,
with so many to care for, they can't stay to chat.
They move to the next kennel, giving each of us cheer
we know that they wonder how long we'll be here.
We lay down to sleep and sweet dreams fill our heads
of a home filled with love and our own cozy beds.
Then we wake to see sad eyes, brimming with tears
our friends filled with emptiness, worry and fear.
If you can't adopt us and there's no room at your inn
could you help with the bills and fill our food bin?
We count on your kindness each day of the year
can you give more than hope to everyone here?
~Author unknown~"
( at the shelter )
'Tis the night before Christmas and all through the town,
every shelter is full ~ we are lost but not found.
Our numbers are hung on our kennels so bare,
we hope every minute that someone will care.
They'll come to adopt us and give us the call,
'come here, Max and Sparkie ~ come fetch your new ball!'
But now we just sit here and think of the days
we were treated so fondly ~ we had baby ways.
Once we were little, then we grew and we grew ~
now we're no longer young, and we're no longer new.
So out the back door we were thrown like trash,
they reacted so quickly ~ why were they so rash?
We 'jump on the children', 'don't come when they call',
we 'bark when they leave us', 'climb over the wall'.
We should have been neutered, we should have been spayed,
now we suffer the consequence of the error they made.
If only they'd trained us, if only we knew.....
we'd have done what they asked us and worshipped them, too.
We were left in the back yard, or worse ~ left to roam
now we're tired and lonely and out of a home.
They dropped us off here and they kissed us good-bye
'Maybe someone else will give you a try'.
So now here we are, all confused and alone
in a shelter with others who long for a home.
The kind workers come through with a meal and a pat,
with so many to care for, they can't stay to chat.
They move to the next kennel, giving each of us cheer
we know that they wonder how long we'll be here.
We lay down to sleep and sweet dreams fill our heads
of a home filled with love and our own cozy beds.
Then we wake to see sad eyes, brimming with tears
our friends filled with emptiness, worry and fear.
If you can't adopt us and there's no room at your inn
could you help with the bills and fill our food bin?
We count on your kindness each day of the year
can you give more than hope to everyone here?
~Author unknown~"
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
With no thought of the dog filling their heads,
And Mamma in her kerchief and I in my cap,
Knew he was cold, but didn’t care about that.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Figuring the dog was into the trash.
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But jolly old Santa-with eyes full of tears.
He unchained the dog, once so lively and quick,
Last years Christmas present, now thin and sick.
More rapid than eagles he called the dog’s name,
And it ran to him quickly despite all its pain.
"Now, DASHER! now, DANCER!
now, PRANCER and VIXON!On,
COMET! on CUPID!
on DONNER and BLITZEN!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
I’ll find him a home where he’ll be loved by all."
I knew in an instant there would be no gifts this year,
For Santa Claus had made one thing quite clear,
The gift of a dog is not just for the season,
We had gotten a pup for all the wrong reasons.
We had chosen the pet with a great deal of haste,
Then thrown him outside as though he were waste.
A dog should be family, and cared for the same
You don’t give a gift, then put it on a chain.
And I heard him exclaim as he rode out of sight,
"You weren’t giving a gift! You were giving a life!"
~Author unknown~
Don't let this be you , or I will personally
Kick your Ass to Hell and Back,
Animals are Love. Not disposable EVER!
Traditional Latkes-by Margaret Ball
3 large Idaho potatoes, washed but not peeled
1 small onion
2 large
eggs, lightly beaten
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/2
cup Crisco(r) Vegetable Oil
applesauce, for serving
sour cream, for serving
Grate the potatoes and put in a large bowl.
Grate the onion and add to the
potatoes.
You can use a hand grater or food processor to grate the
vegetables.
Add the eggs, flour, and salt and stir to combine. Let the batter stand for
about 10 minutes so that it thickens. Pour off any excess liquid that
gathers around the edges or on the surface. The batter will not be as
cohesive as most but will hold together in the hot oil.
Heat the oil in a skillet over high heat for 1 minute.
It should be to a
depth of about 3/4 inch.
Lower the heat to medium-high.
Using your hands, form the batter into small pancakes, each about 2 inches
in diameter.
Gently and carefully drop the latkes into the hot oil and cook
for 30 to 40 seconds on each side or until crispy.
Drain on paper towels.
Serve warm or at room temperature with applesauce and sour cream on the
side.
12/01/2006
Wanted: Bell-Ringers in Montana -
hey it's a job...beggars can't be choosers, or can they?
idiots...money is money , especially when you stay at a HOMELESS SHELTER...:::disgusted sigh::::
idiots...money is money , especially when you stay at a HOMELESS SHELTER...:::disgusted sigh::::
11/30/2006
11/29/2006
Topological field theory of the initial singularity of spacetime
hey I was actually reading this..:)
Man accused of spray-painting 3 goats
1. Why?
2. If you have a problem with people, tell them,don't just torture their pets.
3. shaking head:::, this guy is wacked...., find him a rubber room somewhere...
nice way to wake up and see on your startpage, while the wee ones watch their morning fix of SpongeBob.
:::Oh Yeah Big News:::
I'm putting up the tree today, Hubby went and got us a new one:)
with lights already on- cool! Xab is going to help :)
I hope Prish doesn't eat the tinsel,
thats all we need is sparkly festive puppy poo...sigh...
2. If you have a problem with people, tell them,don't just torture their pets.
3. shaking head:::, this guy is wacked...., find him a rubber room somewhere...
nice way to wake up and see on your startpage, while the wee ones watch their morning fix of SpongeBob.
:::Oh Yeah Big News:::
I'm putting up the tree today, Hubby went and got us a new one:)
with lights already on- cool! Xab is going to help :)
I hope Prish doesn't eat the tinsel,
thats all we need is sparkly festive puppy poo...sigh...
11/28/2006
11/27/2006
Yum....by Kathy Bennet...
CINNAMON ROLLS
---------------------------
2 PKGS YEAST
1 DUNCAN HINES YELLOW CAKE MIX
5 CUPS FLOUR
2 1/2 CUPS WARM WATER
BUTTER, CINNAMON, SUGAR
MIX CAKE MIX, FLOUR, AND YEAST IN WATER.
ADD FLOUR UNTIL NOT STICKY. KNEAD FOR 15 MINS.
LET RISE FOR 1 HOUR UNTIL DOUBLE IN SIZE.
PUNCH DOWN AND ROLL OUT. SPREAD WITH BUTTER,
CINNAMON AND SUGAR. CUT INTO 1 INCH PIECES
AND PLACE ON COOKIE SHEET. LET RISE AGAIN.
BAKE AT 350 FOR A HALF HOUR.
THESE ARE THE BEST CINNAMON ROLLS I HAVE EVER
HAD.
EASY TO MAKE TOO. PUT ICING ON TOP WHEN DONE
BAKING."
---------------------------
2 PKGS YEAST
1 DUNCAN HINES YELLOW CAKE MIX
5 CUPS FLOUR
2 1/2 CUPS WARM WATER
BUTTER, CINNAMON, SUGAR
MIX CAKE MIX, FLOUR, AND YEAST IN WATER.
ADD FLOUR UNTIL NOT STICKY. KNEAD FOR 15 MINS.
LET RISE FOR 1 HOUR UNTIL DOUBLE IN SIZE.
PUNCH DOWN AND ROLL OUT. SPREAD WITH BUTTER,
CINNAMON AND SUGAR. CUT INTO 1 INCH PIECES
AND PLACE ON COOKIE SHEET. LET RISE AGAIN.
BAKE AT 350 FOR A HALF HOUR.
THESE ARE THE BEST CINNAMON ROLLS I HAVE EVER
HAD.
EASY TO MAKE TOO. PUT ICING ON TOP WHEN DONE
BAKING."
11/24/2006
11/22/2006
Turkeys try to catch train out of N.J.
was going to say something But I think I know people in Jersey...
::::millions of N.J. jokes :::
::::millions of N.J. jokes :::
11/21/2006
11/18/2006
11/17/2006
A Texas Chili ContestNote: Please take time to read this slowly.
If you pay attention tothe first two judges,
the reaction of the third judge is even better.
For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is.
They actually have a chili cook-off about the time Halloween comes around.
It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio
city park.
The notes are from an inexperienced chili taster named Frank,who was visiting from Springfield, IL.
Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chilicook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and Ihappened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directionsto the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by theother two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all thatspicy and, besides they told me I could have free beer during the tasting,so I accepted.
"Here are the scorecards from the event: (Frank is Judge #3)
Chili # 1 Eddie's Maniac Monster Chili..
.Judge # 1 -- Little too heavy on the tomato; amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor, very mild.
Judge # 3 -- What the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint
from your driveway. Took me two beers to put out the flames. I hope that'sthe worst one. These Texans are crazy!
Chili # 2 Austin's Afterburner Chili...
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork, slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor; needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'msupposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted togive me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they sawthe look on my face.
Chili # 3 Ronny's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili..
.Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.
Judge # 2 -- A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels
like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get
me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now mybackbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting pie-eyed from all of the beer...
Chili # 4 Dave's Black Magic...Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish,or other mild foods; not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable
to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid,was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. woman is startingto look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili anaphrodisiac?
Chili # 5 Lisa's Legal Lip Remover...
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding
considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit
the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me neededparamedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off.It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.Screw those rednecks.
Chili # 6 Pam's Very Vegetarian Variety...Judge # 1 -- Thin, yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance ofspices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic.Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,sulfuric flames. I pooped on myself when I farted and I'm worried it willeat through the chair! No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with asnow cone.
Chili # 7 Carla's Screaming Sensation Chili...
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho-hum; tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress, as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world soundslike it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, whichslid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match myshirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing; it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inchhole in my stomach.
Chili # 8 Karen's Toenail Curling Chili...
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold,but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild, norhot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 farted, passed out fell over, and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
If you pay attention tothe first two judges,
the reaction of the third judge is even better.
For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is.
They actually have a chili cook-off about the time Halloween comes around.
It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio
city park.
The notes are from an inexperienced chili taster named Frank,who was visiting from Springfield, IL.
Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chilicook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and Ihappened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directionsto the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by theother two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all thatspicy and, besides they told me I could have free beer during the tasting,so I accepted.
"Here are the scorecards from the event: (Frank is Judge #3)
Chili # 1 Eddie's Maniac Monster Chili..
.Judge # 1 -- Little too heavy on the tomato; amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor, very mild.
Judge # 3 -- What the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint
from your driveway. Took me two beers to put out the flames. I hope that'sthe worst one. These Texans are crazy!
Chili # 2 Austin's Afterburner Chili...
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork, slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor; needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'msupposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted togive me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they sawthe look on my face.
Chili # 3 Ronny's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili..
.Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.
Judge # 2 -- A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels
like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get
me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now mybackbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting pie-eyed from all of the beer...
Chili # 4 Dave's Black Magic...Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish,or other mild foods; not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable
to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid,was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. woman is startingto look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili anaphrodisiac?
Chili # 5 Lisa's Legal Lip Remover...
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding
considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit
the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me neededparamedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off.It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.Screw those rednecks.
Chili # 6 Pam's Very Vegetarian Variety...Judge # 1 -- Thin, yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance ofspices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic.Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,sulfuric flames. I pooped on myself when I farted and I'm worried it willeat through the chair! No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with asnow cone.
Chili # 7 Carla's Screaming Sensation Chili...
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho-hum; tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress, as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world soundslike it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, whichslid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match myshirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing; it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inchhole in my stomach.
Chili # 8 Karen's Toenail Curling Chili...
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold,but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild, norhot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 farted, passed out fell over, and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
11/14/2006
Welcome to WarmUpAmerica!
I think this is a good thing, I will be doing it....how about you...
The Warm Up America Foundation and Save the Children are teaming up to save newborn lives in developing countries. Learn how your knitted or crocheted cap can help us save a life and how your voice can help us save millions.
Get the ball rolling today. Click on the "Get in the Loop" link to your right to download the Caps to the Capital Action Kit, which includes the three easy steps that knitters and crocheters nationwide can take to be a part of this grassroots effort. For additional cap patterns and helpful technique hints, see links below.
Four-needle cap patterns & Links to technique information
Press information
We want to hear from you!Whether you are working with friends or by yourself, keep us in the loop. Send us pictures, notes and ideas of how you got started and encouraged others to join you!
Meet the Knitters & Crocheters for Newborns
What is Warm Up America!
How you can get involved
Individual and group involvement
Making a financial contribution
Crochet and knit patterns
Tips on joining Warm Up America! afghans
KIDS Warm Up America! Here's how to involve your youngsters and teens
Meet the people who Warm Up America!
About the Foundation...
Public Service Ads--Spread the word about Warm Up America!
Contact us
The Warm Up America Foundation and Save the Children are teaming up to save newborn lives in developing countries. Learn how your knitted or crocheted cap can help us save a life and how your voice can help us save millions.
Get the ball rolling today. Click on the "Get in the Loop" link to your right to download the Caps to the Capital Action Kit, which includes the three easy steps that knitters and crocheters nationwide can take to be a part of this grassroots effort. For additional cap patterns and helpful technique hints, see links below.
Four-needle cap patterns & Links to technique information
Press information
We want to hear from you!Whether you are working with friends or by yourself, keep us in the loop. Send us pictures, notes and ideas of how you got started and encouraged others to join you!
Meet the Knitters & Crocheters for Newborns
What is Warm Up America!
How you can get involved
Individual and group involvement
Making a financial contribution
Crochet and knit patterns
Tips on joining Warm Up America! afghans
KIDS Warm Up America! Here's how to involve your youngsters and teens
Meet the people who Warm Up America!
About the Foundation...
Public Service Ads--Spread the word about Warm Up America!
Contact us
11/11/2006
Lastminute Auction - Bargain Hunter - Online Auctions
crap on Ebay ...expiring , with no bids...lol...
11/08/2006
Paul Harvey Writes:
We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse.
For my grandchildren, I'd like better.
I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches.
I really would. I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.
I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car
And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.
It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.
I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.
I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.
When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.
I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.
On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.
If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.
I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.
When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.
I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.
May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.
I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.
I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.
May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.
I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.
These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness.
To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.
Written with a pen.
Sealed with a kiss.
I'm here for you.
And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.
Send this to all of your friends.
We secure our friends, not by accepting favors, but by doing them.
We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse.
For my grandchildren, I'd like better.
I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches.
I really would. I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.
I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car
And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.
It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.
I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.
I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.
When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.
I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.
On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.
If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.
I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.
When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.
I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.
May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.
I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.
I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.
May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.
I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.
These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness.
To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.
Written with a pen.
Sealed with a kiss.
I'm here for you.
And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.
Send this to all of your friends.
We secure our friends, not by accepting favors, but by doing them.
11/07/2006
washingtonpost.com: MP3
Okay I'm Back...
The Kids are better, Hubby is almost better,
I am some what recovered, The dogs are still insane...
so life goes on....
Here we go into the Holiday season countdown....
some Holiday mp3 's for you to listen to and then delete*
* I do not condone mp3 stealing it is wrong, ok to listen to so you can go Buy the CD..
The Kids are better, Hubby is almost better,
I am some what recovered, The dogs are still insane...
so life goes on....
Here we go into the Holiday season countdown....
some Holiday mp3 's for you to listen to and then delete*
* I do not condone mp3 stealing it is wrong, ok to listen to so you can go Buy the CD..
11/01/2006
10/31/2006
10/27/2006
10/26/2006
10/25/2006
Montana principal returns after 'wedgie' - Yahoo! News
ok this is funny, Livingston is a VERY small town.
I mean you blink you miss it , we used to go through it all the time
while going to events or camping or going to Chico Hot springs,
one of our Food /WC pitstops...I find this hilarious....
I mean you blink you miss it , we used to go through it all the time
while going to events or camping or going to Chico Hot springs,
one of our Food /WC pitstops...I find this hilarious....
10/24/2006
Madame Kat Von D
"Win A TATTOO From Me!!! Halloween Costume Contest!!!
Hey Everybody!
It's almost Halloween and it's time to dress up!!!
A few of you have emailed me saying that you were thinking of dressing up as me for Halloween. So Oliver and I came up with a really awesome idea!!
Check it out...
Dress up like me for Halloween, take your picture and email it to: KATVONDLA@YAHOO.COM
and I will pick the very best Kat who will receive a tattoo from me!!
The tattoo will be 3'x3' and the winner will have to travel to me to get it in Los Angeles at True Tattoo at a mutually agreeable date.
The winner will be announced November 8th--so submit your photos no later than November 5th.
Go crazy and get super creative!!
Remember there are no gender restrictions...so boys get your legwarmers out!!!
Can't wait to see what you guys come up with!!!
Ciao!
Kat Von D
www.katvond.net
ps. there will also be a prize for the best under age 18 costume as you can not get tattooed until you are 18!!!"
Hey Everybody!
It's almost Halloween and it's time to dress up!!!
A few of you have emailed me saying that you were thinking of dressing up as me for Halloween. So Oliver and I came up with a really awesome idea!!
Check it out...
Dress up like me for Halloween, take your picture and email it to: KATVONDLA@YAHOO.COM
and I will pick the very best Kat who will receive a tattoo from me!!
The tattoo will be 3'x3' and the winner will have to travel to me to get it in Los Angeles at True Tattoo at a mutually agreeable date.
The winner will be announced November 8th--so submit your photos no later than November 5th.
Go crazy and get super creative!!
Remember there are no gender restrictions...so boys get your legwarmers out!!!
Can't wait to see what you guys come up with!!!
Ciao!
Kat Von D
www.katvond.net
ps. there will also be a prize for the best under age 18 costume as you can not get tattooed until you are 18!!!"
10/20/2006
Quote of the day.
Originality exists in every individual because each of us differs from the
other. We are all prime numbers divisible only by ourselves.
Jean Guitton (1901-1999)
Philosopher"
other. We are all prime numbers divisible only by ourselves.
Jean Guitton (1901-1999)
Philosopher"
10/19/2006
Urban Legends Reference Pages: Marine Initiation
:shaking head...some people will believe anything....this is so false.
I know they NEVER do things like this.
I know they NEVER do things like this.
N.Y. funeral homes plead guilty to body part theft
ok this is just wrong, on so many levels...really.
10/18/2006
How to tell where they're from by how they drive
* One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago
* One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New
York
* One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot
solidly on accelerator:
Boston
* One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick
on accelerator:
California.
* One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick
on accelerator, gun in
lap: Los Angeles
* Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on
brake, quivering in terror:
Ohio, but driving in California.
* Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on
accelerator, head turned to
talk to someone in back seat: Italy
* One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling
cell phone, foot on brake,
mind on game: Seattle
* One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle,
alternating between both
feet being on the accelerator and both on the
brake, throwing a McDonalds
bag out the window: Texas city male
* One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the
window, keeping speed steadily
at 70mph, driving down the center of the road
unless coming around a blind
curve, in which case they are on the left side
of the road: Texas country male
* One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view
mirror to show different
angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between
mousse, brush, and rat-tail
to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on the
accelerator, poodle steering
the car***, chrome .38 revolver with mother of pearl inlaid handle
in the glove compartment: Texas female*** Coal is an excellent driver, he sits on Bianca's back and Prish works the brake and gas...
* Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia
* Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level, driving 35 on the interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: Florida"
* One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New
York
* One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot
solidly on accelerator:
Boston
* One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick
on accelerator:
California.
* One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick
on accelerator, gun in
lap: Los Angeles
* Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on
brake, quivering in terror:
Ohio, but driving in California.
* Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on
accelerator, head turned to
talk to someone in back seat: Italy
* One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling
cell phone, foot on brake,
mind on game: Seattle
* One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle,
alternating between both
feet being on the accelerator and both on the
brake, throwing a McDonalds
bag out the window: Texas city male
* One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the
window, keeping speed steadily
at 70mph, driving down the center of the road
unless coming around a blind
curve, in which case they are on the left side
of the road: Texas country male
* One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view
mirror to show different
angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between
mousse, brush, and rat-tail
to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on the
accelerator, poodle steering
the car***, chrome .38 revolver with mother of pearl inlaid handle
in the glove compartment: Texas female*** Coal is an excellent driver, he sits on Bianca's back and Prish works the brake and gas...
* Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia
* Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level, driving 35 on the interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: Florida"
10/17/2006
Music..
Rammstein will release a new live DVD titled "Volkerball" in mid-November. The DVD contains footage shot from various concerts around the world and is 140 minutes in length.
"Volkerball" comes in 3 versions: a Standard Edition that includes a bonus audio live CD, a Special Edition that includes the audio CD and a bonus DVD, and a Limited Edition that includes both DVDs, two CDs, and a 190 page photo book.
Eisbrecher will release their next album, "Antikorper" on October 24th.
Fans of Rammstein should love Eisbrecher's pounding yet groovy German industrial/metal sounds.
The first two singles from the album, "Leider" and "Vergissmeinnicht" both charted on the German Alternative Charts (DAC) and the combined "Leider/Vergissmeinnicht" limited edition double single has been a hot seller .
"Volkerball" comes in 3 versions: a Standard Edition that includes a bonus audio live CD, a Special Edition that includes the audio CD and a bonus DVD, and a Limited Edition that includes both DVDs, two CDs, and a 190 page photo book.
Eisbrecher will release their next album, "Antikorper" on October 24th.
Fans of Rammstein should love Eisbrecher's pounding yet groovy German industrial/metal sounds.
The first two singles from the album, "Leider" and "Vergissmeinnicht" both charted on the German Alternative Charts (DAC) and the combined "Leider/Vergissmeinnicht" limited edition double single has been a hot seller .
10/16/2006
10/15/2006
10/14/2006
Cute Overload: The 'overload' part of 'Cute Overload'
People—I hope you're sitting down, because "Starr" might require it of you. Introducing "Starr" the 2006 blond Rodeo Queen of Western Days. She won hands down, obvy.
10/13/2006
Friday The 13th
According to Smithsonian Magazine "fear of the #13 costs American a billion dollars per year in absenteeism, train and plane cancellations, and reduced commerce on the 13th of the month."
Fear of Friday the 13th dates back to Nordic Mythology. Many of their thirteenth Gods met with violent deaths, such as Loki, the trickster.
Ancient Romans regarded the number 13 as a symbol of death, destruction and misfortune.
Lizzy Borden uttered a total of 13 words at her trial.
There were 13 original colonies.
A witches coven consists of 13 members.
Tarot Card number 13 is the Death Card, depicting the Grim Reaper (although it is read as transition or change and not literal death).
Hotels rarely have a room number 13. Usually it is called 12a or 14. Same with floors of buildings and the elevators without a #13 button.
Highways sometimes will skip exit 13 altogether also.
There are 13 steps leading to the gallows.
13 knots in a hangman's noose.
13 feet which the guillotine blade falls.
The driver of Princess Diana hit pillar #13 at Place de l'Alma when she was killed in Paris, France.
13 people, Christ and his 12 disciples, were in attendance at the last supper. This is where the Christian belief ties in, making Friday a believed unlucky day, as the crucifixtion occurred on a Friday.
Certain ocean liners will be held in dock until after midnight to appease passenger's fears on Friday the 13th.
British study concluded that even though there were less cars on the road on Friday the 13th (as compared with other Fridays) more accidents were reported.
Trisadekaphobia is the technical name for fear of Friday the 13th.
Apollo 13, 1970, the 13th mission launched from pad #39 (13 x 3), mission was aborted, after an explosion occurred in the fuel cell of their service module. The rocket had left launcing pad at 13:13 CST and the date was April 13th.
Epluribus Unum has 13 letters.
The US Seal has 13 stars, bars, feathers in the eagle's tail, 13 bars in one claw, 13 olive branches in the other.
A "quatrorzieme" is a professional 14th guest hired by the French who had only 13 guests in attendance for dinner, who felt that was unlucky.
A baker's dozen consists of 13 for a reason! So the story goes a witch near Albany, NY demanded 13 items every time she came in to a particular bakery, and one day the old baker could not afford her extra biscuit. She sneered some strange words at the man, and he suffered terrible luck from then on, until he brought her another 13 rolls. After that life was once again easy for the baker and word spread around town. The custom is still sometimes practiced today.
Fear of Friday the 13th dates back to Nordic Mythology. Many of their thirteenth Gods met with violent deaths, such as Loki, the trickster.
Ancient Romans regarded the number 13 as a symbol of death, destruction and misfortune.
Lizzy Borden uttered a total of 13 words at her trial.
There were 13 original colonies.
A witches coven consists of 13 members.
Tarot Card number 13 is the Death Card, depicting the Grim Reaper (although it is read as transition or change and not literal death).
Hotels rarely have a room number 13. Usually it is called 12a or 14. Same with floors of buildings and the elevators without a #13 button.
Highways sometimes will skip exit 13 altogether also.
There are 13 steps leading to the gallows.
13 knots in a hangman's noose.
13 feet which the guillotine blade falls.
The driver of Princess Diana hit pillar #13 at Place de l'Alma when she was killed in Paris, France.
13 people, Christ and his 12 disciples, were in attendance at the last supper. This is where the Christian belief ties in, making Friday a believed unlucky day, as the crucifixtion occurred on a Friday.
Certain ocean liners will be held in dock until after midnight to appease passenger's fears on Friday the 13th.
British study concluded that even though there were less cars on the road on Friday the 13th (as compared with other Fridays) more accidents were reported.
Trisadekaphobia is the technical name for fear of Friday the 13th.
Apollo 13, 1970, the 13th mission launched from pad #39 (13 x 3), mission was aborted, after an explosion occurred in the fuel cell of their service module. The rocket had left launcing pad at 13:13 CST and the date was April 13th.
Epluribus Unum has 13 letters.
The US Seal has 13 stars, bars, feathers in the eagle's tail, 13 bars in one claw, 13 olive branches in the other.
A "quatrorzieme" is a professional 14th guest hired by the French who had only 13 guests in attendance for dinner, who felt that was unlucky.
A baker's dozen consists of 13 for a reason! So the story goes a witch near Albany, NY demanded 13 items every time she came in to a particular bakery, and one day the old baker could not afford her extra biscuit. She sneered some strange words at the man, and he suffered terrible luck from then on, until he brought her another 13 rolls. After that life was once again easy for the baker and word spread around town. The custom is still sometimes practiced today.
10/12/2006
10/11/2006
You Know You're Addicted to Ebay When...
Every time you go to the grocery store, you offer the cashier one cent more for each item in the cart of the person in front of you.
To cut costs, FedEx and UPS are considering relocating their operations centers to your house.
Sitting on the floor of your empty apartment, you stare at your fingers and wonder whether they'll sell better individually or as a matched set.
Your spouse is loving and caring but you decided to file for divorce because you need the storage space.
You're the reason they adopted the "No selling your children's vital organs" policy.
You find yourself searching eBay auctions for milk, eggs and bread.
When your wife agrees to have sex with you, you become suspicious and ask how many other bidders there were.
Just ask your kids, eRay and eFaye.
After a particularly passionate night, you lean over and whisper in your spouse?s ear, "Excellent service, great communication! Would recommend again! AAAA++++"
You set your alarm clock for 3 am so you can log on to protect your bid.
You've called someone a naughty name for outbidding you at the last second.
You've questioned your sanity because of the price you've bid... more than once.
You've changed all your clocks to "eBay official time (PDT)."
You've bid on something even though the picture doesn't show up correctly.
You've purposely run up the bid on something similar for which you paid more.
You've rolled your eyes at the word "antique" or "vintage" used on something made in the past decade.
You've gritted your teeth each time you've clicked on a description that uses the word "L@@K."
You've turned up the volume on your email alert so you'll never miss an Outbid Notice.
You've made "My eBay" your default home page.
You've emailed a seller to correct their description with accurate dates or details.
You've come to rely on "convenience cash" from PayPal and wish you could pay all your bills like that.
You've earned a "Shooting Star" Feedback Profile for more than 10,000 purchases!
You won't go to estate auctions because they don't take PayPal.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Ebay.
To cut costs, FedEx and UPS are considering relocating their operations centers to your house.
Sitting on the floor of your empty apartment, you stare at your fingers and wonder whether they'll sell better individually or as a matched set.
Your spouse is loving and caring but you decided to file for divorce because you need the storage space.
You're the reason they adopted the "No selling your children's vital organs" policy.
You find yourself searching eBay auctions for milk, eggs and bread.
When your wife agrees to have sex with you, you become suspicious and ask how many other bidders there were.
Just ask your kids, eRay and eFaye.
After a particularly passionate night, you lean over and whisper in your spouse?s ear, "Excellent service, great communication! Would recommend again! AAAA++++"
You set your alarm clock for 3 am so you can log on to protect your bid.
You've called someone a naughty name for outbidding you at the last second.
You've questioned your sanity because of the price you've bid... more than once.
You've changed all your clocks to "eBay official time (PDT)."
You've bid on something even though the picture doesn't show up correctly.
You've purposely run up the bid on something similar for which you paid more.
You've rolled your eyes at the word "antique" or "vintage" used on something made in the past decade.
You've gritted your teeth each time you've clicked on a description that uses the word "L@@K."
You've turned up the volume on your email alert so you'll never miss an Outbid Notice.
You've made "My eBay" your default home page.
You've emailed a seller to correct their description with accurate dates or details.
You've come to rely on "convenience cash" from PayPal and wish you could pay all your bills like that.
You've earned a "Shooting Star" Feedback Profile for more than 10,000 purchases!
You won't go to estate auctions because they don't take PayPal.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Ebay.
Read it
The Life of A Soldier
Your alarm goes off, you hit the snooze and sleep for another 10 minutes.
He stays up for days on end.
_________________________
You take a warm shower to help you wake up.
He goes days or weeks without running water.
__________________________
You complain of a 'headache', and call in sick.
He gets shot at as others are hit, and keeps moving forward.
__________________________
You put on your anti war/don't support the troops shirt, and go meet up with your friends.
He still fights for your right to wear that shirt.
__________________________
You make sure you're cell phone is in your pocket.
He clutches the cross hanging on his chain next to his dog tags.
__________________________
You talk trash about your 'buddies' that aren't with you.
He knows he may not see some of his buddies again.
__________________________
You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls.
He walks the streets, searching for insurgents and terrorists.
__________________________
You complain about how hot it is.
He wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow.
__________________________
You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong.
He doesn't get to eat today.
__________________________
Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes.
He wears the same things for weeks, but makes sure his weapons are clean. __________________________
You go to the mall and get your hair redone.
He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today.
__________________________
You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over.
He's told he will be held over an extra 2 months.
__________________________
You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight.
He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home. __________________________
You hug and kiss your girlfriend, like you do everyday.
He holds his letter close and smells his love's perfume. __________________________
You roll your eyes as a baby cries.
He gets a letter with pictures of his new child, and wonders if they'll ever meet __________________________
You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything.
He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and
remembers why he is fighting.
__________________________
You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of men like him.
He hears the gunfire, bombs and screams of the wounded. __________________________
You see only what the media wants you to see.
He sees the broken bodies lying around him.
__________________________
You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't.
He does exactly what he is told
. __________________________
You stay at home and watch TV.
He takes whatever time he is given to call, write home, sleep, and eat. __________________________
You crawl into your soft bed, with down pillows, and get comfortable.
He crawls under a tank for shade and a 5 minute nap, only to be woken by gunfire. __________________________
You sit there and judge him, saying the world is probably a worse place because of men like him.
If only there were more men like him!
____________________________
If you support your troops, re-send this to everyone you know,
If it gets to another veteran who hasn't received it yet, it will bring back memories.
Your alarm goes off, you hit the snooze and sleep for another 10 minutes.
He stays up for days on end.
_________________________
You take a warm shower to help you wake up.
He goes days or weeks without running water.
__________________________
You complain of a 'headache', and call in sick.
He gets shot at as others are hit, and keeps moving forward.
__________________________
You put on your anti war/don't support the troops shirt, and go meet up with your friends.
He still fights for your right to wear that shirt.
__________________________
You make sure you're cell phone is in your pocket.
He clutches the cross hanging on his chain next to his dog tags.
__________________________
You talk trash about your 'buddies' that aren't with you.
He knows he may not see some of his buddies again.
__________________________
You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls.
He walks the streets, searching for insurgents and terrorists.
__________________________
You complain about how hot it is.
He wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow.
__________________________
You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong.
He doesn't get to eat today.
__________________________
Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes.
He wears the same things for weeks, but makes sure his weapons are clean. __________________________
You go to the mall and get your hair redone.
He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today.
__________________________
You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over.
He's told he will be held over an extra 2 months.
__________________________
You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight.
He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home. __________________________
You hug and kiss your girlfriend, like you do everyday.
He holds his letter close and smells his love's perfume. __________________________
You roll your eyes as a baby cries.
He gets a letter with pictures of his new child, and wonders if they'll ever meet __________________________
You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything.
He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and
remembers why he is fighting.
__________________________
You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of men like him.
He hears the gunfire, bombs and screams of the wounded. __________________________
You see only what the media wants you to see.
He sees the broken bodies lying around him.
__________________________
You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't.
He does exactly what he is told
. __________________________
You stay at home and watch TV.
He takes whatever time he is given to call, write home, sleep, and eat. __________________________
You crawl into your soft bed, with down pillows, and get comfortable.
He crawls under a tank for shade and a 5 minute nap, only to be woken by gunfire. __________________________
You sit there and judge him, saying the world is probably a worse place because of men like him.
If only there were more men like him!
____________________________
If you support your troops, re-send this to everyone you know,
If it gets to another veteran who hasn't received it yet, it will bring back memories.
10/10/2006
Girls-Only Blogthings - What Fall Shoe Should You Wear?
| You Should Wear Animal Print Shoes |
 You have a brash personality, and you aren't afraid to wear something outrageous. You're the exact personality designers design for - so enjoy yourself! |
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